Author: Candace Wright

Last week I shared about the 1^st thing that people’s brains do when they start to lose weight…today I’m going to talk about the other thing:

THE BRAIN FREAKS OUT BECAUSE WE’VE MADE A CHANGE AND IT’S NOT SURE HOW TO PROCESS AND THINK ABOUT THE CHANGE.

And the brain is wired to default to old habits so…it just keeps us in the same habits when we are not aware of it.

This is why we lose weight and gain it back.

This why we struggle to lose weight in the first place: we haven’t learned to work with HOW our brain is wired and all our survival instinct has us do things that keep us stuck in the same habit loops.

ERGO: no change or change and default back to where we were.

And what I mean by “the brain freaks out”, a technical term as you can tell, is that when we start a change process and have just accomplished a new change, we have to train our brains to accept the new change and continue to focus on the end goal.

This is not instinctive.

Let me give some examples.

You’re starting or wanting to start the weight-loss process.

You’re feeling trepidation a lot of fear because you’ve lost weight and gained it back in the past.

Your brain is thinking thoughts like:

“What if this doesn’t work? Thing’s haven’t worked in the past…I’ve tried everything…This is hard…I  don’t know how to do this or what to do, I shouldn’t have to be struggling with this dang it…

OR

You hit a weight-loss goal.

Then you hit a plateau or you start to worry about gaining it back.

Your brain freaks out and starts thinking things like:

“I should keep losing weight, I shouldn’t plateau, it should be easier, it’s not working, this is hard, I can’t do this, oh no, I might gain it back…or I don’t know what’s happening…”

Let me just get to the point:

All these types of thoughts ONLY  create a lot of mental noise and emotional constipation.

Let me say that again:

All these types of thoughts ONLY create  a lot of mental noise and emotional constipation.

ALWAYS…

And LOTS of mental noise (harsh mental voices) and emotional constipation feels AWFUL, right?

You know why?

Because any thoughts like the above, take our amazing brain computers OFF THE GOAL because it’s disconnected from your pre-frontal cortex!

It cuts you off from your connection to your supercomputer pre-frontal cortex and you start making decisions from your survival mode brain and then…

When the brain just switches into survival mode,  and you’re not aware of it and you don’t have a system in place, YOU start making choices that won’t get you to your goal.

So, ask yourself, how long do you want to hang out with the pain of LOTS of mental noise (harsh mental voices) and emotional constipation and not reaching your goal?

So, you may ask…

Yeah, Candy, so what do I do?

Well, let me point out that the brain will always want to ask: “What do I do?”

And that’s not actually what you do…

To solve this, we have to start at the beginning with why it’s happening.

We have to start by seeing all the thoughts in your brain as software that tells your body what to do.

So we need to unravel this background brain software first.

I like to describe this process with one of my coaches concepts called the “Before and After Process.”

THE BEFORE AND AFTER PROCESS:

PART 1: We start with what thoughts your brain is thinking now: The Before.

PART 2: Then we re-direct the brain to where it really wants to be: The After.

PART 3: We look at what thoughts that will help you actually get to The After: The In Between

PART 1: THE BEFORE:

STEP 1: We start by COMPASSIONATELY asking ourselves what thoughts we have now.

Why? Because thoughts are the “software programs” that are creating all the results in our lives.

If you’re not conscious, semi-conscious or even conscious of some of the thoughts you have about weight-loss, (which we all have all of these), you won’t be aware of how to start “re-programming” and re-directing and therefor start truly changing your brain (and behavior) in effective, long-term ways.

Where we are with our weight-loss results right now is the accumulation of the thoughts we’ve thought up until today.

They ARE THE reason, there is no other reason, that we struggle, that we haven’t created the results we most want.

That’s it.

HOMEWORK: So, your homework here is:

STEP 1: Think about and write down all the thoughts you’ve had about weight-loss in the past and all the thoughts you have today about weight-loss if they are different.

Don’t edit ANY OF THEM.

STEP 2: Write down the calm thoughts, the fearful thoughts, the worried thoughts, the self-doubt thoughts all of them. Then just look at them and notice how thinking them and looking at them makes you feel.

My guess is looking and thinking those thoughts makes you feel tension, discouragement, despair, and or fear, right?

There’s a reason for this…

Thoughts create our feelings.

So, when those thoughts are running like software in the back of our brains…

It just keeps creating those feelings and those feelings don’t motivate us to change, they just keep us in our Survival Brain Mode system…

And what do we do in Survival Mode?

Yep, survive.

Not change, not move, not thrive.

STEP 3: Give yourself think time, write it down and put that on your mirror and re-direct your brain to that each day.

STEP 4: Schedule a time on your calendar to do this activity. Don’t just think about it. Go schedule it now, put it on your calendar now, (if you’re not doing it right now) and give yourself this gift of your own attention.

Now…

PART 2: THE AFTER:

STEP 1: We start by asking ourselves  this question:

“What would my future self, who has already accomplished this weight-loss goal and is keeping it off be thinking.”

This question is important because it actually makes your brain shift from the default thoughts to connect to your pre-frontal cortex, which is the creation powerhouse, super problem solver, and long-term change maker.

You have to train your brain to think new thoughts regularly in any change process because thinking the same things and doing the same things and expecting a different result…IS INSANITY…right?!

HOMEWORK: Ask yourself, what would my future self who has lost weight and is keeping it off be thinking?

Let me offer you something here, your future self wouldn’t be thinking, I’m scared, I wonder if I can do this or even, I think I can do this.

NO, your future self who already accomplished the goal is thinking:

I did it.

I will never gain the weight back again because I know EXACTLY what to do to keep it off.

I’m 100% committed to maintaining and protecting my mental, physical and emotional health.

I love and trust myself around food.

I love and trust myself no matter what.

I love and trust myself even when I don’t like what I do.

I am the expert on my brain and body, and I know how to take care of my body and my brain in ways that are loving and compassionate.

I DID THE WORK, I MADE IT WORK. (Future self NEVER thinks: It’s not working-future self owns responsibility for ALL results and thoughts.)

I’m ALWAYS in control.

I ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.

I give myself the gift of exercise and I do that lovingly and regularly. Period.

I’m a person who exercises regularly and does it from a place of giving myself the loving gift of movement. It is a gift.

I show up for me.

I love showing up for me because I love the amazing, yummy version of me that I get to be when I show up for me…and that version of me blesses my world in amazing ways!

I know EXACTLY how to lose weight.

I know EXACTLY how to maintain weight-loss, period.

This is who I am now.

You’re welcome to start borrowing some of my thoughts.

These are all the thoughts my brain believes now. 100%.

These thoughts that I have ARE THE REASON I lost 65 lbs and I keep it off easily.

HOMEWORK:

STEP 1: Ask yourself what would my future self be thinking about weight-loss and weight-loss maintenance?

Write it down.

Don’t edit it.

STEP 2: Give yourself think time, write it down and put that on your mirror and re-direct your brain to that each day.

STEP 3: Schedule a time on your calendar to do this activity. Don’t just think about it. Go schedule it now, put it on your calendar now, (if you’re not doing it right now) and give yourself this gift of your own attention.

PART 3:  THE IN BETWEEN

As you read this, you may be thinking, OK, my thoughts aren’t at THE AFTER stage yet, how the heck do I get there?

Well, as you can guess, this is EXACTLY what we do in coaching, but let me share a bit about THE IN BETWEEN process to get you started.

STEP 1: Wherever you may be in this process, ask yourself 2 questions:

QUESTION 1: What would my future self advise me to do to get closer to THE AFTER GOAL?

This may seem like a simple question, but this question also connects you to your pre-frontal cortex AND again, the most amazing problem solver on the planet.

Then listen.

Keep asking the question, give yourself time to write it down, to think about it.

QUESTION 2: What do I need to think and feel and do today, in the next 10 minutes, in the next hour to get me closer to THE AFTER GOAL?

Then, again, listen, write it down.

These questions help your brain start coming up with the IN BETWEEN STEPS.

Here are some thoughts that can be very helpful:

I can figure this out.

I haven’t tried everything, or I would have figured this out.

I’m learning that I can do this.

I’m learning how to keep my word to myself.

I’m learning how to have my own back.

I’m learning to show up for me.

I’m learning to take care of my body and brain in new ways.

I’m learning that I matter.

I’m learning that when I show up for me, I love me more, and I create even more amazing results.

Yes, you can borrow these too.

What if your brain really did know and you REALLY do have it inside you to figure this out?

HOMEWORK: Ask yourself these two questions each day this week:

1. What would my future self advise me to do to get closer to THE AFTER GOAL?
2. What do I need to think and feel and do today, in the next 10 minutes, in the next hour to get me closer to THE AFTER GOAL?
3. Give yourself think time, write it down and put that on your mirror and re-direct your brain to that each day.
4. Schedule a time on your calendar to do this activity. Don’t just think about it. Go schedule it now, put it on your calendar now, (if you’re not doing it right now) and give yourself this gift of your own attention.

DO ALL THE HOMEWORK IN THIS LESSON TODAY AND SCHEDULE IT  IN YOUR CALENDAR WHEN YOU WILL DO IT…DON’T MISS THIS STEP OF SCHEDULING AND FOLLOWING THROUGH, NO MATTER WHAT.

SCHEDULE IT IN YOUR CALENDAR AND GIVE THIS GIFT TO YOURSELF.

If you start this process, IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE and you will be blown away by all that you can do.

I promise, I did it, my clients do it and you can too.

Have a wonderful week!

Love,

Candy

p.s. If you are ready to start YOUR BEFORE process so you can close the IN BETWEEN gap and truly have THE AFTER you most want of losing the weight for good, stopping your emotional overeating and calming all the noise in your mind around food, your body and your weight, CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE YOUR FREE 60 MINUTE COACHING CALL NOW.

I will teach you all these steps in my 6-month online one-on-one program so you truly start creating YOUR AFTER that you most want CLICK HERE AND GET STARTED TODAY.

You are a super woman.

Really.

You do and do and do and do…for so many others…

And you wear yourself into the ground at times…or let’s be honest, maybe A LOT…

And it hardly even occurs to you to yourself on your priority list of things to do…

Not for any other reason other than you’re a great person and you do want to be useful and contribute…

But it’s taking it’s toll…

You’re exhausted, you’re carrying extra weight, you’re achy…

And you so wish you could move, play, hike, dance like you used to…

And did you know not learning the simple, guilt-free steps to put yourself on the priority list is one of THE TOP reasons I see that women gain weight in mid-life…

It’s not about the weight…it’s about the mental and emotional weight of things we currently have on our lists and are putting on our lists of things to do…

And it’s the accumulation of this mental and emotional weight over the years that so often turns into physical weight…

And all this means is that you just haven’t learned the simple step-by-step tools to work with the emotional and mental weight in a way that doesn’t turn into physical, mid-life weight gain…

And that’s totally possible.

The weight of your priority list can actually be more simple, so much more peaceful and so much more life-giving instead of draining.

This is what one woman learned in spades in just one 20 min coaching session with me.

In my private Facebook Group: Stop Emotional Overeating, periodically, I offer a free 20 minute coaching session…

And Marcia, who gives her permission to share, had a HUGE breakthrough in the area of learning to put herself as a priority and I can’t wait to share that with you.

CLICK HERE NOW TO WATCH MARCIA’S BREAKTHROUGH

While we were doing her free 20 min coaching session, her cat started to bother her.

I told her I would edit it out, but then she had a huge breakthrough about putting everything else as a priority…and I decided to leave the cat calling her attention in because it was the perfect example of how everything in her life had been grabbing for her attention, instead of consciously choosing and seeing that she wanted to put herself as a priority. It’s sooo good. And she gets really passionate at the end about it…and now she’s starting to put herself as priority…

And she got this all, from just one 20 min coaching session with me.

This is just a tiny piece of the beginning of the tools that I teach in my 6-month, individual online program.

Imagine what else you could do with all the tools.

If you know it’s time to learn the simple, step-by-step tools to put yourself on the priority list, let’s chat.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE COACHING STRATEGY CALL NOW

Love,

Candy

p.s. If you’d like to join our Free, Private Facebook Community CLICK HERE to join private group now.

What are your weekend plans my friends?

Any holiday events?  

Many holiday events?

I’m going to a Christmas party tomorrow evening and I’m singing! 

Getting my voice all prepped!

I’m a little nervous because I don’t quite have the song memorized…but I’m gonna do my best!

BUT WHAT ARE YOUR WEEKEND PLANS??

I want to hear about your plans and…

Yes…what are your weekend food plans?

Do you have one?

A lot of people don’t think about making food plans for the weekends, it feels like, I made it through the week…just need a break most of the time right?

My brain never liked planning and scheduling meals…and to be honest, it still resists and doesn’t love planning and scheduling sometimes.

Can you relate?

My brain would rather do whatever it “feels like in the moment” at all moments…the problem with that is that this is the auto-pilot mode of our brains and it’s only concerned with taking the path of least resistance to conserve calories…and it’s not concerned with our well-being…I will preach this every week…hear me! 😊

So…our amazing brains can be really sneaky about not wanting to planning and scheduling our food and eating on the weekends…you know I’m right…

How often have you thought any of these types of sneaky thoughts about making a plan for food over the weekend?

“Hey, you’ve got a lot going on, you did so much this week, YOU DON’T NEED TO PLAN…”
“Hey, take a break, rest, relax, you don’t want to make a plan, so you don’t need to.”
“Hey, I don’t want to make a plan that I might not stick to.”
“You don’t know how to make a plan when some of your schedule & activities are “flexible” or “up in the air” this weekend.”

If you have, you know it usually leads to: 
Mindless grazing & overeating.

Sounds familiar, huh?

Our brains can be sooo instinctively, auto-pilot sneaky…

And the weekend is often one of those times our brain’s auto-pilot system kicks into high gear and says lots of little niggling auto-pilot things to get you to not plan your food.

If we aren’t aware that these auto-pilot thoughts are running, guess what we don’t do?

YEP, WE DON’T PLAN…

AND THEN IT’S SO MUCH EASIER TO OVEREAT.

HERE’S THE TRUTH: 
If you don’t make a plan, you will most likely graze, mindlessly eat and drink, eat too much, feel guilty or shame, eat some more, then tell yourself you’ll start tomorrow, on Monday, in January…

And when you overeat on the weekends, you will most likely continue overeating during the week, then weeks, then months, then years…

This what happens when you don’t make a plan…

Yes, this is what happens when you resist making a plan…

This is what happens when you don’t work with your brain and how it’s designed to function best AKA: Making a plan.

This is what happens when you don’t see how powerful a SIMPLE plan can be…

What’s it costing you to not make a plan?

Really?

What’s it costing you to not know how to work with how your brain is wired to function best?

Really ask yourself.

Let’s talk about what’s happening with your brain when you don’t make a weekend or any plan for food:

The auto-pilot part of our brain (about 95-99% of it depending on the study you read)…has all kinds of sneaky, hidden thoughts that try to talk us out of doing things that would actually be the better for us and support us in physical, mental and emotional health.

It honestly tries to talk us out of these better choices because it’s wired to conserve energy and be efficient.  That’s it. There’s nothing broken about you, your worth, your loveability, or your willpower.

The human brain really wants structure, but it instinctively resists putting new structures/routines into place (because it requires energy and the brain is always seeking to be efficient and do things to not spend calories)…

BUT ultimately, the brain really craves and loves structures and routines once they are put into place on auto-pilot habits.

But that auto-pilot brain likes to whine. 

It likes to say, “It’s too hard to plan.”

Gotta love the dichotomy and the complete juxtaposition of the instinctive parts of our brain with that of our thinking parts of our brain.

NO, really, you gotta love it, embrace it, accept this is what human brains do…in order to work with it…and create lasting change.

AND…you gotta love you and your human brain and understand none of this is personal…

So, friends…if you catch your sneaky auto-pilot brain saying, hey, you don’t need to plan, 

STOP, thank your brain kindly and talk back kindly with these 4 steps:

1.     I hear you, and that isn’t true. I actually do better and YOU, sweet brain, do better when we make a simple plan.
2.     I hear you and it’s ok you think that, but I’m choosing to take care of me and my body by planning.
3.     I hear you and sweet brain, you can make excuses until I get out the piece of paper (or computer) to write my plan down and then you get to stop the negative talk.
4.     THEN…GO MAKE A SIMPLE plan for the weekend that includes 2-3 meals each day with protein, fat and veggies, no flour and no sugar.

Doing these simple 4 steps will calm your brain down and connect to the pre-frontal cortex.

It will help you create a plan so in a way that works with your brain instead of against it.

It will help you be aware and in control of what you put in your mouth instead of just mindlessly putting food in all day.

It will help you Stop Emotional Overeating for good so that you can move, play with grand kids, hike and dance and stop aching!

Yes, it will help with all this.

Why are you putting it off?

Have a super week!

Love, 
Candy

If you want to make planning simple that so that you can move your body, dance, play with grand kids and feel amazing in your body…I can help you stop all the stress-induced emotional eating and Lose up to 50 lbs FOR GOOD with my proven step-by-step system. CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE YOUR FREE COACHING STRATEGY SESSION NOW.

Part 1 of a 2 part Series: “Commitment and Self-Love are the hardest parts.”

“Commitment and Self-Love are the hardest parts.”

This is what an awesome lady said to me in a FB message exchange last week.

We were messaging about the weight-loss journey I’d been on and she commented on how hard work paid off.

I commented that it didn’t feel so hard when I learned the tools commitment and self-love.

And then she said it: “Commitment and Self-Love are the hardest parts.”

It hit me so profoundly…that statement stuck with me and then…

I remembered when I didn’t have step-by-step tools to create commitment and self-love and…

Dang, that was hard.

It’s was hard because I didn’t understand what was going on with my brain, my body and my emotions.

It was hard because everything in human instinct wiring actually has you do the opposite of what works.

And I was trying to use only the human survival instinct tools of willpower, shaming, guilting, white-knuckling it…

And those tools NEVER work for long-term lasting change.

EVER.

Can you relate?

Have you ever felt this way?

Have you felt like committing to the weight-loss process and learning or developing self-love are the hardest parts of this weight-loss process or journey?

SO WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU COMMIT IF THESE SURVIVAL BRAIN INSTINCTS ARE RUNNING IN THE BACKGROUND??

This is why commitment FEELS so hard.

It’s counter-instinctive to understand and talk back to that instinct survival system part of our brains.

But that is actually what is required and what works to enable you to really commit and create long-term weight loss or change in any area of your life.

When I asked my clients this week how they were feeling with regards to being prepared to love themselves, make great self-loving food plans and win with Thanksgiving, they all said something along the lines of ” Yep, I’m not worried, I’ve got the tools I need!”

This is so fun.

They have the tools to not have all the mind chatter around it and they have all the tools and planned beforehand to win.

Are you interested in creating that type of confidence around food?

If so…I can help…

If you feel like you overate…

Or

If you feel like you really overate…

If you feel like you did pretty darn good making self-loving choices at Thanksgiving…

If you feel like you aren’t worried about it at all….

I want to honor where ever you’re at…

AND

I invite you to shine a light of self-compassion and self-love on where you’re at.

Shine compassion if you feel you overate and compassion will help you look at it from a perspective of what worked, what didn’t work & what you want to choose to do differently going forward.

And self-compassion will help you take a step back and really ask yourself, how long do I want to keep doing this and is it time for me to commit to put me on my priority list yet?

Or

Shine self-compassion if you feel like you did well and maybe last year you didn’t do so well.

Shine compassion to reflect on what you did that worked this year, how you changed since last year, and celebrate how you are changing.

They are both important places to be on the journey of learning to become the expert on your body and brain as you learn to stop emotional overeating and lose weight for good.

And that is truly what it is.

It’s a journey that you take step-by-step and what if there are not back-steps or sliding back.

What if you keep your mind focused on: I’m going to figure out how to Stop Emotional Overeating & Lose Weight For Good, NO MATTER WHAT…

And you keep taking steps.

What if overeats are actually part of the journey?

What if you could look at them and simply ask:

What worked  this Thanksgiving around food to help me be in alignment with my weight-loss and health goals?

AND

What didn’t work  this Thanksgiving around food?

AND what will I do differently going forward  to help me be in alignment with my weight-loss and health goals?

AND…

If you feel like you won with Thanksgiving this year also ask:

What worked this Thanksgiving around food to help me be in alignment with my weight-loss and health goals?

Was there anything that didn’t work this Thanksgiving around food to help me be in alignment with my weight-loss and health goals?

AND is there anything you’d like to do differently going forward and that may include a celebration ritual to help me continue to be in alignment with my weight-loss and health goals!

**Fun, silly side note, I found this drum beat on my alarm section of my phone (it’s called Timba–look it up, so fun) and it’s such a fun beat. I now use it for a celebration ritual, I just move my body to the beat and shake it all kinds of crazy…it makes me feel awesome.

This may not be your thing, but, for this former Zumba instructor, shaking to drums is heaven…my point is = maybe you want to add a celebration ritual to celebrate how well you did this year.

Short and Sweet Friday Love Message:

Shine compassion where you are by asking and writing down:

What worked?

What didn’t work?

What will you do differently going forward.

I’d love to hear how you answer that…reply to this email and let me know.

And, if you want to incorporate a celebration ritual into what you will be doing differently going forward, I’d love to hear what that is too.

The photo is me celebrating with Zumba MANY moons ago when I was an instructor.

Shake it baby!!

Happy Friday!

Love,

Candy

p.s. If you’re ready to not be worried when holiday events come up or not be worried around food at all because you know you you’ve got the tools you need to calm the noise in your mind around food and to be in control instead of food controlling you, sign up for your free coaching consultation strategy call now by CLICKING HERE. In my 6-month one-on-one online program (so you can live anywhere) I will teach you my proven step-by-step process to win with Thanksgiving and all food in general so you Stop Emotional Overeating and Lose Weight for good.

p.s. If you’re ready to be done with all the aftermath of overeating shame, and you’re ready to invest in yourself fully and really Stop Emotional Overeating & Lose Weight For Good, I will teach you my step-by-step proven process to solve this for good. CLICK HERE to set up your Coaching Strategy Call now and we will get the process started. In just this first amazing call, you will start to change.

3 weeks ago I hit a really big goal in my business.

“What is happening to me?

 So much pain.

My knees are killing me. 

Both my feet hurt so badly with shooting pain that I don’t know which foot to put the boot the doctor gave me. 

I’m crying in pain because my body hurts so badly and the doctors aren’t sure why.

I can’t stop gaining weight. 

I’m falling apart, is this really what life after 40 is going to be like, it’s too painful to live like this any more…”

This is how I felt when I was in my early 40’s.

I was exasperated and honestly at war with body because it had gained 65 lbs.

I was punishing my body with food addiction and bitter self-talk and mad that it wasn’t responding the way I wanted it to.

“How dare my body do this to me,” I thought.

And it wasn’t working to continue to fight and be angry at my body or myself.

I came to this breaking point over time…

But things didn’t change until I decided to start looking for the ways I could love and cherish my body and therefore, me.

I decided to start looking for ways I could make peace with my body and listen to it as if it was a sweet child in my care.

I decided that my body, is a sweet loving being, in my care, and that it is an entity that SO wants to love and serve me well, and I just didn’t know how to listen or speak to it yet.

And this made all the difference.

I waved the white flag of peace to my body.

I laid down my weapons of angry self-talk, albeit slowly, I started laying them down one by one.

And I started to ask myself how I could hear, pay attention to and care for my body like I would a small child I loved.

I decided to make small deposits of love, just like a bank account, into my body reserve.

And this looked like telling myself gently the following:

“I’ll do 10-15 minutes of Zumba today, I don’t need to do the whole hour and it’s OK to stop when my feet, knees or hips start to hurt.” (And I used to be a Zumba instructor who did HOURS of Zumba a week.)

“I’m going to take one small step to practice slowing down when I eat and put my fork down between bites.”

And then I hired a coach.

Then it turned into telling myself gently:

“I believe that I can figure this out.”

“My body will be strong again, active again, full of live and vibrancy again.”

So I kept putting small deposits of loving thoughts, nourishing food and loving movement into my body.

I didn’t spend tons of hours in the gym. I walked, I went to Zumba because it made me happy to dance and I left as soon as I hurt…and then eventually, I didn’t hurt any more and could stay the whole class.

Was it easy, no, but it was a lot easier doing it from choosing to love and listen to my body instead of being angry and at war with it.

And then I started to tell myself even more empowering things like:

“Wow, my body is feeling better, my joints and feet aren’t aching like they used to, my body is releasing weight…I wonder what else I could be capable of…I’m really figuring this out, this is so exciting…”

So then I added a weight-training class to my regimen. I like classes, I don’t like going out on the gym floor, I like someone telling me what to do and then I like to leave. So I choose to do things I like.

It was a process of slowing down, learning to listen to my body and honor it as a wise entity that really did want to love me and serve me…and it was just patiently waiting until I started to listen and love.

And now we are best friends.

We are partners, not enemies.

I truly love my body and my mind.

And I’ve chosen to continue to love it even thought the wrinkles are getting more pronounced, I’ve chosen to be in a loving relationship and speak kindly with my body.

And this is what changed everything.

I wish for you a loving, harmonious relationship with your mind and your body.

Have a wonderful weekend.

I love you.

Candy

p.s. If you’re ready to learn the specific step-by-step process to love, listen to and be in partnership with your body to lose the over-40 weight, CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE YOUR COACHING STRATEGY CALL now.

Here’s why you struggle so hard to lose the over-40 weight gain:

YOU DON’T ASK FOR HELP

and

YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT ON YOUR OWN

AND here’s why you do that:

You’ve read a ton of “diet” books.

You’ve read a ton of “how to lose weight” articles online.

You’re super smart.

You’re so successful in SO many areas of your life.

Yet, it’s a struggle for you to ask for help with this because you feel shame or like you should know better because you are so smart…

You’ve tried counting points, cutting back on carbs, drinking shakes, and or exercising your tush off.

You feel like “you know what to do to lose weight” and yet, you can’t “make yourself” do it or “stick to it”.

You can do it for a while by “willpowering” yourself or white knuckling it to stick to it but as soon as you’re “done with the diet” you go back to yo-yo’ing and gaining weight.

And…

You haven’t considered that asking for help could make this struggle SO much easier so have it be so much easier so much more quickly than you think could be possible…

Because think you think yous should have figured this out and be perfect at this already…

So you feel guilt, shame and give yourself some pretty harsh internal tongue-lashings because you can’t figure this struggle out…

SO…you keep telling yourself that you should be able to do this on your own…

But you can’t do it on your own…

So you struggle asking for help to really be done with this struggle for good…

Sound familiar?

Feel like I’m in your head and reading your mind?

I am pretty much reading your mind…there’s a reason for that…

It’s because this used to be my mind…and it’s where my clients’ minds are before they start working with me.

I get it.

I’ve been there, they’ve been there too.

And nothing’s broken or wrong with you because you have these thoughts…

BUT…

NOT ASKING FOR HELP

and

THINKING YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT ON YOUR OWN…

ARE TWO OF THE MAIN REASONS women over 40 stay stuck in yo-yo weight gain patterns and continue to gain weight…

And I invite you to ask yourself what is it costing you to not ask for help?

What is is costing you to think that you should be able to do it on your own?

Really ask yourself?

My guess is it’s costing you time, your health, your ability to be present in your relationships, your ability to play with your family, grandkids etc…it’s costing you the ability to be fully present your work and contribution in this worlds and it’s costing you being able to achieve what you most want in life.

So, what do you do instead you may ask?

Because you’re such a smart woman, your brain likes to default instinctively to telling you that you should be able to figure out how to lose the over-40 weight and should be able to do it easily and quickly.

This is baloney…

You shouldn’t already know how because you’ve never been over 40 with all the step-by-step tools to know how…

And you shouldn’t be able to figure this out easily and quickly because you haven’t been over 40 with the simple processes that work with how your brain is wired instead of against it so it actually becomes easier than you thought possible.

When you were first starting to walk, you didn’t immediately take off running…because you hadn’t done it and practiced it and learned the literal step-by-step process to run yet…

You had to work on one step at a time.

This is the same with learning to lose weight over 40.

It’s a process.

It requires one step at a time.

And when you let your brain tell you that you should be able to figure it out easily and quickly, this default thought literally disconnects you from your pre-frontal cortex and therefore your ability to REALLY learn the steps one by one.

TOOL #2 Stop Letting Your Brain Tell You That You Should Be Able To Lose the Over-40 Weight On Your Own.

It’s really normal for smart women to not consider asking for and learning to receive help.

Shocker, I know, huh?

I’ve been through my share of not asking for help experiences and they always went so much better when I learned to ask for help.

We don’t ask for help for several reasons but the most common I’ve seen is that we are just so busy in our lives, we don’t think about it…

And OR…

If we ask for help, our brain’s default instinct is to make it mean we “weren’t good enough, smart enough or failed at being smart in this area” and then the guilt, shame or internal tongue lashings ensue.

Notice how I said it’s your brain’s default…you haven’t actually not been good enough, smart enough or failed…it’s a human brain instinct default…and

None of that is actually true…

This too, is some sweet baloney that the default instinctive part of our brain likes to tell us…

Asking for help is actually one of THE MOST EMPOWERING things you CAN do.

When I asked for help, I lost 65 lbs.

When I asked for help, I learned how to get married after 40 and create an AMAZING, HARMONIOUSLY LOVING PARTNERSHIP (yes it was a step-by-step process).

When I asked for help, I started a business and started living my dream to be a Life Coach (something I had been dying to do for 16-17 years).

When my clients asked for help, they lost 15, 20, 30, 40, 50 lbs.

When my client, asked for help, she dropped her Type 2 diabetes sugars by 70-80 points within 24 hours, and she went from painfully, barely walking to the mail box to walking over a mile easily with no pain & she’s working on getting ready for a 5K!

When my clients asked for help, they calmed the noise in their mind around food, their body and their weight, gained confidence in themselves and then used that energy formerly used on that noise to improve relationships in their families.

When my clients asked for help, they felt stronger, more self-love, more self-compassion & trust and started improving so many other areas of their lives that they really wanted to improve.

When my client asked for help, she stopped fixating as much on food and started an artistic business with that energy that she loves.

When my client asked for help, she learned to manage her emotions and started accomplishing and being who she really wanted to be in her business.

Goes on and on…

So to re-cap my friends:

1-Stop Letting Your Brain Tell You That You Should Already Know How to Lose Weight After 40.

2-Stop Letting Your Brain Tell You That You Should Be Able To Lose the Over-40 Weight On Your Own.

3-ASK FOR HELP

And when you’re ready to ask for help, to get started, I offer an individualized coaching strategy session to find out if my program is a good fit.

Have a super weekend.

Love,
Candy

p.s. When you’re ready to to ask for help and stop thinking you should be able to learn to lose weight on your own and should already know how, let’s chat.

If you’re ready to ask for help, I have spots open Monday 11/4/18 @ 9 am, 10:15 am & 5 pm, Tuesday 11/5/19 @ 10 am, 12:30 pm or Thursday 11/7/19 12 or 1 pm all Pacific Times for your individualized coaching stratgy.

Reply to this email with which times work best for you.

Or

CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE YOUR SESSION NOW.

In my 6-month, one-on-one program will teach you the simple step-by-step processes to get the results you REALLY want around your weight, your body and food AND YOUR LIFE. My 6-month, one-on-one program  is done individually online on a platform called Zoom, like Skype-so my clients live all over. This gives us the ability to teach you all the tools and make it very customized to what you most need.