Last week I shared about the 1st thing that people’s brains do when they start to lose weight…today I’m going to talk about the other thing:
THE BRAIN FREAKS OUT BECAUSE WE’VE MADE A CHANGE AND IT’S NOT SURE HOW TO PROCESS AND THINK ABOUT THE CHANGE.
And the brain is wired to default to old habits so…it just keeps us in the same habits when we are not aware of it.
This is why we lose weight and gain it back.
This why we struggle to lose weight in the first place: we haven’t learned to work with HOW our brain is wired and all our survival instinct has us do things that keep us stuck in the same habit loops.
ERGO: no change or change and default back to where we were.
And what I mean by “the brain freaks out”, a technical term as you can tell, is that when we start a change process and have just accomplished a new change, we have to train our brains to accept the new change and continue to focus on the end goal.
This is not instinctive.
Let me give some examples.
You’re starting or wanting to start the weight-loss process.
You’re feeling trepidation a lot of fear because you’ve lost weight and gained it back in the past.
Your brain is thinking thoughts like:
“What if this doesn’t work? Thing’s haven’t worked in the past…I’ve tried everything…This is hard…I don’t know how to do this or what to do, I shouldn’t have to be struggling with this dang it…
You hit a weight-loss goal.
Then you hit a plateau or you start to worry about gaining it back.
Your brain freaks out and starts thinking things like:
“I should keep losing weight, I shouldn’t plateau, it should be easier, it’s not working, this is hard, I can’t do this, oh no, I might gain it back…or I don’t know what’s happening…”
Let me just get to the point:
All these types of thoughts ONLY create a lot of mental noise and emotional constipation.
Let me say that again:
All these types of thoughts ONLY create a lot of mental noise and emotional constipation.
And LOTS of mental noise (harsh mental voices) and emotional constipation feels AWFUL, right?
You know why?
Because any thoughts like the above, take our amazing brain computers OFF THE GOAL because it’s disconnected from your pre-frontal cortex!
It cuts you off from your connection to your supercomputer pre-frontal cortex and you start making decisions from your survival mode brain and then…
When the brain just switches into survival mode, and you’re not aware of it and you don’t have a system in place, YOU start making choices that won’t get you to your goal.
So, ask yourself, how long do you want to hang out with the pain of LOTS of mental noise (harsh mental voices) and emotional constipation and not reaching your goal?
So, you may ask…
Yeah, Candy, so what do I do?
Well, let me point out that the brain will always want to ask: “What do I do?”
And that’s not actually what you do…
To solve this, we have to start at the beginning with why it’s happening.
We have to start by seeing all the thoughts in your brain as software that tells your body what to do.
So we need to unravel this background brain software first.
I like to describe this process with one of my coaches concepts called the “Before and After Process.”
THE BEFORE AND AFTER PROCESS:
PART 1: We start with what thoughts your brain is thinking now: The Before.
PART 2: Then we re-direct the brain to where it really wants to be: The After.
PART 3: We look at what thoughts that will help you actually get to The After: The In Between
PART 1: THE BEFORE:
STEP 1: We start by COMPASSIONATELY asking ourselves what thoughts we have now.
Why? Because thoughts are the “software programs” that are creating all the results in our lives.
If you’re not conscious, semi-conscious or even conscious of some of the thoughts you have about weight-loss, (which we all have all of these), you won’t be aware of how to start “re-programming” and re-directing and therefor start truly changing your brain (and behavior) in effective, long-term ways.
Where we are with our weight-loss results right now is the accumulation of the thoughts we’ve thought up until today.
They ARE THE reason, there is no other reason, that we struggle, that we haven’t created the results we most want.
HOMEWORK: So, your homework here is:
STEP 1: Think about and write down all the thoughts you’ve had about weight-loss in the past and all the thoughts you have today about weight-loss if they are different.
Don’t edit ANY OF THEM.
STEP 2: Write down the calm thoughts, the fearful thoughts, the worried thoughts, the self-doubt thoughts all of them. Then just look at them and notice how thinking them and looking at them makes you feel.
My guess is looking and thinking those thoughts makes you feel tension, discouragement, despair, and or fear, right?
There’s a reason for this…
Thoughts create our feelings.
So, when those thoughts are running like software in the back of our brains…
It just keeps creating those feelings and those feelings don’t motivate us to change, they just keep us in our Survival Brain Mode system…
And what do we do in Survival Mode?
Not change, not move, not thrive.
STEP 3: Give yourself think time, write it down and put that on your mirror and re-direct your brain to that each day.
STEP 4: Schedule a time on your calendar to do this activity. Don’t just think about it. Go schedule it now, put it on your calendar now, (if you’re not doing it right now) and give yourself this gift of your own attention.
PART 2: THE AFTER:
STEP 1: We start by asking ourselves this question:
“What would my future self, who has already accomplished this weight-loss goal and is keeping it off be thinking.”
This question is important because it actually makes your brain shift from the default thoughts to connect to your pre-frontal cortex, which is the creation powerhouse, super problem solver, and long-term change maker.
You have to train your brain to think new thoughts regularly in any change process because thinking the same things and doing the same things and expecting a different result…IS INSANITY…right?!
HOMEWORK: Ask yourself, what would my future self who has lost weight and is keeping it off be thinking?
Let me offer you something here, your future self wouldn’t be thinking, I’m scared, I wonder if I can do this or even, I think I can do this.
NO, your future self who already accomplished the goal is thinking:
I did it.
I will never gain the weight back again because I know EXACTLY what to do to keep it off.
I’m 100% committed to maintaining and protecting my mental, physical and emotional health.
I love and trust myself around food.
I love and trust myself no matter what.
I love and trust myself even when I don’t like what I do.
I am the expert on my brain and body, and I know how to take care of my body and my brain in ways that are loving and compassionate.
I DID THE WORK, I MADE IT WORK. (Future self NEVER thinks: It’s not working-future self owns responsibility for ALL results and thoughts.)
I’m ALWAYS in control.
I ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.
I give myself the gift of exercise and I do that lovingly and regularly. Period.
I’m a person who exercises regularly and does it from a place of giving myself the loving gift of movement. It is a gift.
I show up for me.
I love showing up for me because I love the amazing, yummy version of me that I get to be when I show up for me…and that version of me blesses my world in amazing ways!
I know EXACTLY how to lose weight.
I know EXACTLY how to maintain weight-loss, period.
This is who I am now.
You’re welcome to start borrowing some of my thoughts.
These are all the thoughts my brain believes now. 100%.
These thoughts that I have ARE THE REASON I lost 65 lbs and I keep it off easily.
STEP 1: Ask yourself what would my future self be thinking about weight-loss and weight-loss maintenance?
Write it down.
Don’t edit it.
STEP 2: Give yourself think time, write it down and put that on your mirror and re-direct your brain to that each day.
STEP 3: Schedule a time on your calendar to do this activity. Don’t just think about it. Go schedule it now, put it on your calendar now, (if you’re not doing it right now) and give yourself this gift of your own attention.
PART 3: THE IN BETWEEN
As you read this, you may be thinking, OK, my thoughts aren’t at THE AFTER stage yet, how the heck do I get there?
Well, as you can guess, this is EXACTLY what we do in coaching, but let me share a bit about THE IN BETWEEN process to get you started.
STEP 1: Wherever you may be in this process, ask yourself 2 questions:
QUESTION 1: What would my future self advise me to do to get closer to THE AFTER GOAL?
This may seem like a simple question, but this question also connects you to your pre-frontal cortex AND again, the most amazing problem solver on the planet.
Keep asking the question, give yourself time to write it down, to think about it.
QUESTION 2: What do I need to think and feel and do today, in the next 10 minutes, in the next hour to get me closer to THE AFTER GOAL?
Then, again, listen, write it down.
These questions help your brain start coming up with the IN BETWEEN STEPS.
Here are some thoughts that can be very helpful:
I can figure this out.
I haven’t tried everything, or I would have figured this out.
I’m learning that I can do this.
I’m learning how to keep my word to myself.
I’m learning how to have my own back.
I’m learning to show up for me.
I’m learning to take care of my body and brain in new ways.
I’m learning that I matter.
I’m learning that when I show up for me, I love me more, and I create even more amazing results.
Yes, you can borrow these too.
What if your brain really did know and you REALLY do have it inside you to figure this out?
HOMEWORK: Ask yourself these two questions each day this week:
- What would my future self advise me to do to get closer to THE AFTER GOAL?
- What do I need to think and feel and do today, in the next 10 minutes, in the next hour to get me closer to THE AFTER GOAL?
- Give yourself think time, write it down and put that on your mirror and re-direct your brain to that each day.
- Schedule a time on your calendar to do this activity. Don’t just think about it. Go schedule it now, put it on your calendar now, (if you’re not doing it right now) and give yourself this gift of your own attention.
DO ALL THE HOMEWORK IN THIS LESSON TODAY AND SCHEDULE IT IN YOUR CALENDAR WHEN YOU WILL DO IT…DON’T MISS THIS STEP OF SCHEDULING AND FOLLOWING THROUGH, NO MATTER WHAT.
SCHEDULE IT IN YOUR CALENDAR AND GIVE THIS GIFT TO YOURSELF.
If you start this process, IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE and you will be blown away by all that you can do.
I promise, I did it, my clients do it and you can too.
Have a wonderful week!
p.s. If you are ready to start YOUR BEFORE process so you can close the IN BETWEEN gap and truly have THE AFTER you most want of losing the weight for good, stopping your emotional overeating and calming all the noise in your mind around food, your body and your weight, CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE YOUR FREE 60 MINUTE COACHING CALL NOW.
I will teach you all these steps in my 6-month online one-on-one program so you truly start creating YOUR AFTER that you most want CLICK HERE AND GET STARTED TODAY.