The 3 Simple C’s to Permanent Weight-Loss Over 50-ish

Feeling restless, stressed, unsettled, agitated or slightly crazed? ( opposite of calm)

Feeling self-doubt, insecure, fearful or uncertain? ( opposite of confident)

Feeling unable, incapable? ( opposite of capable)…

And it’s driving you to emotionally stress eat…

Guess what…

You’re probably a human.

Yep, this is normal and it means you’re a human having feelings that you just haven’t learned how to process instead of eat.

Did you know that there is a specific set of tools to process feelings, so you don’t go eat all the things as a reaction to pent up emotion.

And these simple tools stop emotional stress eating.
Yep.

And after you’ve been on the planet for near 50 years, there are probably a lot of these emotions pent up.

So you see…it’s not your fault that the peri/menopausal weight has crept up.

Yes, of course your body is changing…but not knowing how to process feelings is the REAL reason your weight has crept up and been so hard to get off.

This is how you start.

3 EMOTIONAL C’s = Long-Term Weight-Loss: 
Calm, Capable & Confident are the feelings that create weight-loss (and ALL other results in life)…

So if you’re not feeling those…it’s REALLY hard to be successful…in fact, pretty much impossible.

So if you’re not feeling those, start here:

Step 1: Ask: What is driving you to feel the opposite of those feelings?

Step 2: Listen to yourself…not from a complain/blame mode…but from a I’m going give myself some kindness and grace like I would a friend as I listen.

Step 3: Then do that thing that you hear your inner wisdom offering you.

The challenge is we often have many layers of feelings built up from so many years of not knowing how to process them…

That this process can seem overwhelming or complicated to do on your own.

It’s truly about giving yourself a some of your own time…as a give of love to you.

You give so many gifts of love to all your world…

It’s just time to do it for you.

And when you do…you go from feeling insecure, self-doubt, frazzled to
Calm, confident & capable…

And then, the physical weight comes off as you learn to release that emotional weight.

That’s why what I offer in my 6 month program is Emotional Healing Weight-Loss Program is priceless.

I help you go through this simple process SO much more quickly, efficiently and compassionately than you could ever imagine on your own.

If you’re ready to be done with this struggle for good. I got you.

Love,
Candy

p.s. If you’re ready to have your own calm, confident and capable story with the peri/menopausal weight-loss process so you lose it for the last time…

working with me, an expert coach in emotional healing, is EXACTLY what will solve that for you. > CLICK HERE NOW TO<- to schedule your complimentary 60 min consult call to start your calm, confident and capable story today. 

Yes…This program is the answer you’ve been praying for.

p.p.s. Fun FACT: My clients feel increased FREEDOM and start releasing up to 10 lbs in the first 2-4 weeks, it doesn’t take long. I love working with these women who are ready to be done with the peri-menopausal & menopausal weight-loss struggle for the last time. 

5 Secrets To Stop Stress Eating When You Feel “Not Enough”

You know those quiet background voices that tell you:

You didn’t do “enough”

You didn’t do it “right enough”

You didn’t do something “good enough”

And then it spirals in your mind to the thought: “I failed”

Then the heavy, sinking feelings hit and…

You feel compelled to do more, give more, contribute more, lose yourself in taking care of others more…

All to subconsciously “prove” to yourself that those “not enough” thoughts are wrong.

Then you emotionally stress eat to deal with it all, feel like you should know better… And then you emotionally stress eat some more.

Then the cycle repeats. Scale goes up. (AKA: “Self-sabotage”)

Ring a bell?

There’s a reason:

The scale goes up because you haven’t learned to re-wire your brain around the “not-enough” thoughts that cause you to feel like a failure (and then overeat some more).Modern neuralplasticity science now shows this is completely possible.

The problem is…

Most people don’t actually know how to do the re-wiring on their own or how to make it work.

So let me share some of the simple basics to re-wiring that: Help you move the scale down and… your confidence up:

1. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. The brain is wired to default to these “not enough thoughts” and pretty much all humans struggle with this on some level…(so your a normal human)

2. Separate yourself from the thoughts: those “not enough” thoughts ARE NOT YOU. They are your survival instinct. Be kind as you observe them and talk to yourself as a dear friend when they come up.

3. What you let your mind dwell on will be your results. Whatever you focus on, your brain will collect evidence for. So if you focus on the “not enough” you will keep creating that result and stay stuck in that cycle.

4. Redirect your mind with empowering questions ANY time the “not enough” thoughts come. Ask yourself the opposite of what your brain wants to instinctively say to you. Examples:What if “enough” or “perfect” really isn’t a thing? (Hint: it’s not) How was what I did, how I am already enough? (Answer like you would to a dear friend) What if it’s just my survival brain wanting to feel safe? What is the loving thing I’d say to a friend who was feeling this way? (Say that to yourself) What if nothing has actually gone wrong? What if there really isn’t a right way?

5. Really listen to what answers you hear at the end of those questions.Here’s the truth my friend: ***YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALL ***YOU ARE ENOUGH BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN ***YOU ARE A DIVINE HUMAN WITH INFINITE WORTH, PERIOD.

And when you learn the simple tools to re-wire these underlying “not enough” thoughts…

Those last thoughts IN BOLD become who you are…

AND THIS IS THE SECRET THAT STOPS Emotional Stress Eating and MOVES THAT SCALE DOWN for the last time.

If you’re ready for help, CLICK HERE NOW

Happy Friday & have a wonderful weekend.

Love,
Candy

p.s. This is important. In 6-months, if you do nothing, which the brain is wired to do (put things off) you’ll still be where you’re at, no re-wiring happening. 

SO: If you’re ready to stop those self-sabotaging “not enough thoughts” and start the scale moving down today, CLICK HERE NOW to schedule your complimentary coaching consult call today. 
In just this first call you will begin the simple re-wiring process. 


p.p.s. AND if you want to be like my client who said this week:

“This is so MUCH easier than anything I’ve ever tried to lose weight. It’s such a loving process and the weight is coming off naturally without deprivation. Oh my gosh this is so amazing, I wished I’d learned this years ago”

p.p.p.s. Fun FACT: My clients feel increased FREEDOM and start releasing up to 10 lbs in the first 2-4 weeks, it doesn’t take long. I love working with these women who are ready to be done with the peri-menopausal & menopausal weight-loss struggle for the last time. 

You don’t have a willpower or follow through problem, you have an “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” problem.

You think you have a willpower or a follow through problem – AKA: Can’t make yourself stick to healthy habits.

And you feel so embarrassed because this is so not you. You are a woman of great strength so why can’t you do it with food???

My friend, that’s not it at all.

The problem you have isn’t willpower or follow through.

You know what it is?

The problem is that you have a human brain with a pre-factory installed “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” and you don’t understand how to work with it instead of against it.

And this “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” goes into stall, stop and stuck mode when you don’t know how to work with it.

What is this “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” you ask?

First of all, it’s factory installed…meaning if you have a human brain…nothing’s wrong, this is what human brains do.

It’s basically a mental R.O.I. (return on investment) calculation system that is running in your mind ALWAYS ON DEFAULT.

This system kicks into gear when you consider undertaking a new goal.

Then it starts to calculate how much energy it will take you to get to that end goal.

Then it tells you: HOLY COW it’s going to take a lot of energy to get there from where you are right now to ALL the way over there, what are you thinking??

Then then when you don’t have the tools to understand this about your brain and how to work with it, you feel, overwhelmed, afraid or discouraged (or maybe even shame or self-pity).

And it will sound something like this in your head: “Um…You probably don’t want to even start, that will be too hard, it will require too much energy, you should already know better, what are you thinking-you can’t do that?”

Except none of that is true.

That’s just what it sounds like when the brain is trying to tell you that you have several steps to between where you are and where you want to go.

This pre-factory installed “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” only sees where you are and where you’re thinking of going.

It CANNOT see the steps in between…

It’s like if you’re planning a trip, of course there are going to be many miles between where you are and where you’re going to be…expecting there to be a teleporter that shoots you straight to Santorini, Italy, the moment you say you want to go…well, at least in today’s reality, it’s just not how things work.

So, you have to understand how to do the steps in between to get where you want to go.

It’s doesn’t work to let “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” think that it’s either teleportation to your goal weight or stay stuck and discouragement where you’re at forever.

SO…

It’s taking the steps in between that MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE to actually hitting the goal.

So, start with one small step at a time:

STEP 1: To lose the weight, FOR GOOD, it’s crucial you catch the “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” and say, hmmm…isn’t that interesting…I can see that there are several steps to get to my goal…and that’s OK.

STEP 2: Set a specific goal including: what by when: EX: I’ll lose 30 lbs. in 4 months by Aug 31, 2020.

STEP 3: Expect your brain to feel overwhelmed, afraid, discouraged etc. after you set the goal. Tell yourself: “This is just the “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” worried about spending too much energy. I just need to remember to break it into small in-between steps.”

STEP 4: DO THE ACTUAL MATH AND PUT THE PLANNED STEPS ON PAPER:

  1. EXAMPLE GOAL: LOSE 30 LBS IN 4 MONTHS by 8/31/20  
  2. EXAMPLE MATH: that’s approximately 1 lb. a week for 32 weeks
  3. EXAMPLE PLAN:
    1. Week 1: I will plan my meals for the week, and I will plan proteins, fats and veggies in at all my lunches and then celebrate my wins and evaluate my week.
    1. Week 2: I will continue with what I’ve been doing and start eliminating sugar and flour 4-5 days a week and celebrate my wins and evaluate my week.
    1. Week 3: I will continue with what I’ve been doing and not snack between meals & celebrate my wins and evaluate my week.
    1. Week 4: I will continue with what I’ve been doing and  work on getting proteins, fats, and veggies in at my dinners now too and evaluate my week.
    1. Continue to map it out week by week, step by step.

STEP 5: Your brain may not want to map it out. Do it any way. This is just the “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” thinking it’s teleportation or nothing kicking in again.

So go back to Step 1: Math and Plan: Break down the planning: I’ll plan for 30 or 60 min today @ 12 and I’ll plan for 30 or 60 min tomorrow @ 12 if I need more time.

When you work with your “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” by doing these 5 steps…

You build self-trust.

You build self-confidence

You build self-love

You build self-empowerment.

You start losing the weight and you understand exactly how to start keeping the weight off for good and then you do.

This is what is possible.

This is what I help you do in my 6-month, online 1:1 coaching program. I teach you how to work with your “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” so it’s so much easier, so that you have support to walk through these steps until they become your default system, you lose the weight for good and have no doubt you’ll ever gain it back.

One of my clients this week said: “This is the most results I’ve ever received from a program and so much more helpful than ALL the years of help I’ve gotten.”

Happy Friday,

Love,

Candy

p.s. if you’re ready to stop being stuck in the “All or Nothing Default System” and you’re ready to stop expecting teleportation and you’re ready to commit to taking care of you step by compassionate step, I can help you. CLICK HERE TO APPLY TO WORK WITH ME NOW.

p.p.s. You may be nervous to ask for coaching because you think you should know better or you’re ashamed because you think you should be able to know and do this on your own. That’s Ok. I want you to know, you actually shouldn’t know. This is NOT something most people grow up learning. So, it’s actually rare when people do. It’s a toolbox to be learned and is totally within your reach

I Really See You Will Succeed

Dear friend,

I see you.

I see how hard you’ve worked all your life to love, to give, to provide, to accomplish, to create.

I see the countless hours of care taking you’ve provided to your world, your community, your career, your loved ones.

I see how you’ve worked so hard for them, worried about them, cried over them, grieved over them, and joyed over them.

I see how you’ve put others and other things before yourself because of your big, powerful, loving heart.

I see how truly magnificent you are because of all of it.

I see how truly unconditionally loveable you are just because you are you.

I see how it’s been a struggle for you to put yourself on your to-do list and to make the time for you because you’ve felt compelled to take care of all the other people and things.

I see how much your deepest soul wants to take care of your body, your spirit, and your life now.

I see how you’ve been wanting to really lose this weight for good.

I see how you’ve been afraid because you don’t know how to get started.

I see how you’ve been afraid of failing.

BUT most of all I REALLY CAN SEE how strong you are, how capable you are and how you WILL totally succeed.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Love,
Candy

p.s. If you’d like to see more clearly this vision I already see of you, let’s chat. CLICK HERE to schedule your 60 min coaching consult call to start creating this vision of you today.

p.p.s. And if you haven’t joined THE PRIVATE FB GROUP for women over 50-ish+ to lose up to 50 lbs, it’s time! I’m teaching so many juicy tools you haven’t learned yet to finally take this mid-life weight off for good. 

Your brain lies to you all the time about food, losing the over 50-ish+weight, and your aging body.

Your brain lies to you ALL THE TIME about food, losing the over 50-ish+ weight, and your aging body. And these lies are coming in hard and fast right now for so many people now that we are in “quarantine/lock down”.

I love you AND…

If you want to come out of this “quarantine/lock down” lighter and freer in your body & mind instead of heavier, higher on the scale and full of shame, blame or guilt…

IT’s TIME to take an honest look at where your brain is lying to you so that you can.

These are the TOP 7 Lies I hear people’s brains telling them about food:

1. “Ooh, there’s extra food on the plate, counter, in the staff lounge, I should put it in my mouth” – this is one of the MOST common, it’s pretty much a subconscious lie, it’s really sneaky that most people don’t catch. It’s unconscious eating and doesn’t allow you to really ask yourself if you’re grumble in the tummy hungry. It’s just auto-pilot snacking and grazing from survival brain =  weight gain.

2. “Just one cookie/handful of chips/brownie/drink/tub of ice cream won’t hurt” – this lie leads to hundreds of “just ones” = weight gain.

3. “But I’m really stressed, I just need a little comfort” – this is your brain lying to you because it wants a quick hit of dopamine from sugar, flour & processed foods. That’s it. Food IS NOT COMFORT. Sugars, flours, and processed foods NUMB YOU OUT just like a mild drug. THEY ARE NOT COMFORT.  Comfort is a feeling you create inside yourself and comfort is something kind, and loving you do for your highest self, not a quick hit to take the edge off. The problem with this one is once you get a hit, your brain says GIVE ME MORE!  And that also = weight gain.

4. “Food is love or food is connection” – these lies leads to lots of indulgences in the name of love or connection. STOP BLAMING the FEELINGS of love & connection for your overeating.  Love & connection are feelings you choose to feel inside of you, they have nothing to do with food. Food is an inanimate object; it is fuel for the body. This lie also = weight gain.

5. “I’m too tired or too busy to take the time to make healthy food”  – this lie is one of the most debilitating there is. It’s basically telling you telling yourself that you are incapable of figuring out how to take care of yourself in simple easy ways…and if you don’t choose to figure out how to fuel your body in simple, healthy ways, it’s probably time to ask yourself why = weight gain.

6. “If my spouse/child/organization/friend/world/leader would just stop ___________ then it would be easier not to overeat” – this is probably one of the other most debilitating lies your brain can tell you because it again is just telling you how incapable you are of controlling your own reactions and emotions and just leads to lots of stress eating = weight gain.
If you have one or several of these thoughts, the good news is you are normal, you are human, nothing’s broken. 
BUT…if you want to Stop Emotionally Overeating so you come out of this “lockdown” having lost the over 50-ish+ weight for good, instead of gaining a bunch, you have to not only learn the simple cognitive tools to stop buying into these lies but become the person who no longer believes those lies.

7. “This is what happens as you age, I’m stuck, I can’t change/don’t know how to fix it. Lies, all lies. You’re getting stuck in your own victim story. You are not confined to a fate of gaining weight as you age. This lie adds probably the most emotional and physical weight of all. Everything is figure-out-able and buying into this lie is so toxic.

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO INSTEAD?

GLAD YOU ASKED.

HERE ARE THE 5 STEPS TO DO STOP BUYING INTO THE LIES TO STOP EMOTIONAL OVEREATING: 

1. Always make a plan of what you will eat and when. You can make it a week in advance or 24 hours in advance, just be sure and make it at least 24 hours in advance. DON’T SKIP this. This stops a huge majority of emotional eating because it puts your pre-frontal cortex in charge so that your survival brain isn’t making choices when you’re super hungry (FYI-when you’re hungry and don’t have a plan, survival brain always wins, and you’ll eat anything in sight).

2. Always stop and ask yourself if you are grumble in the tummy hungry before you put something in your mouth. If you’re not. DON’T. If you are, eat about a palm size portion of protein, 2-4 TBS of fats and 6-10 oz veggies.

3. If you’re not grumble in the tummy hungry and you THINK you want to eat, drink water.

4. If you’re still not grumble in the tummy hungry and you still think you want to eat, ask yourself what you are thinking and feeling…then make yourself actually go write it down.

5.  And if you still think want to eat and you are not grumble in the tummy hungry ask yourself how you would comfort a small child you love or a small animal you love who is in pain…then go do and say that for yourself.

6. BONUS: DON’T DRINK YOUR CALORIES-EVER. This is one of the easiest ways to pile on pounds…when you don’t chew something and you just drink it, it doesn’t register satiety and it’s SOO easy to over consume calories this way. Just stop. Drink lemon water, sparkling water, teas etc. 

When these things become a part of who you are instead of the lies your brain tells you…

You lose the over 50-ish+ weight.

You become free in your body and your mind around food AND LIFE.

You no longer beat yourself up about the thing you “shouldn’t have eaten”.

You make peace with your aging body and you fall in love with it because you are now partners with your body instead of adversaries.

This is what I help you do. In my 6-month, online, one-on-one program, I teach you how to do these things automatically so you easily catch your brain in the lies, you lose the over 50-ish+ weight and you have EXTREME freedom and confidence around food and your body FOR GOOD.

You can totally do this, and I can help you.

You don’t have to keep struggling with this alone anymore. 

Doing it alone hasn’t worked and I know how to help you make it work. 

Love,
Candy

p.s. I’m offering a free webinar to teach you the next steps in this process so you stop buying into the lies and start creating weight-loss with self compassion. It will be next Wednesday, 4/1, no it’s not an April Fool’s Joke, at 6:30 pacific time. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW FOR FREE.

p.p.s. If you’re ready to stop buying into the lies your brain is feeding you to Stop Emotional Overeating & Lose up to 50 lbs FOR GOOD, let’s talk. CLICK HERE to schedule your free coaching consult call now where we will figure out where you are, where you SO would rather be with your weight-loss and how I can help you powerfully and compassionately close the gap between the two.

The Older You Get, How you DON’T Manage Your Time, Affects Weight-Gain

If you find yourself saying, I’m so busy, I’ve had a crazy, busy day, I’ve got so much to do and you struggle to lose weight the older you get…this is usually a HUGE factor in why you’re not losing weight the closer to 50-ish+ and up you get.

Yep, how you think about and DON’T manage your time IS A HUGE factor in weight-gain the older you get.

May sound like tough love, and that’s what it is, and it’s also true.
I was totally there, I get it.

Let me tell you why:

Most of my clients come to me at first and not knowing that the way they manage their time is exactly one of the top reasons they struggle with losing weight the older they get.

Yep, they think that they don’t have control over their time or that they are at the effect of it, that it controls them.

They feel pulled to do this thing and that thing and it all feels legitimate that the things are controlling them…

But…I’m here to tell you, that’s not true, you’re letting the things control you.

Ask yourself: 

When you have a “crazy” relationship to how we manage our time it’s one of the MAIN reasons you can’t lose weight, is that to say there aren’t other factors, no, but this is a huge place to start.

In my experience and observing tons of clients, this has been true.
You may ask, how does how I handle my time, have to do with mid-life weight-loss?

Well, EVERYTHING.

START HERE AND…Think about this and when the last time was that you thought these things: 

Most of our society says and believes things like, I’m so busy or it’s been a crazy day, or it’s been a crazy week, or I have so much to do…and that all those thoughts are just facts.

They aren’t facts. NOPE. They are just thoughts.

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why you say those things? Why you do that?

Did you know it has a direct effect on how you fuel or don’t fuel your body?

YES, it does.
And this is how:

When you run around saying you’re so busy, you create a world where you continuously feel so busy, you continuously fill your schedule, you don’t learn to say no to things that aren’t your priority and you don’t think about prioritizing REALLY what matters: YOU, your health and not running your body into the ground-literally. 

So when you’re on auto-pilot “I’m busy” brain mode, one of the last things you think about is giving your body attention and the fuel that it needs so you don’t give it attention, you grab the fast food, you shove whatever is close in your mouth…and the scale goes up, your clothes get tighter, you feel less energy and more lethargic, more discouraged and less yourself.

What’s happening you go around thinking about time like “it’s crazy”, “it’s so busy”, or “I’m so busy”, what you’re doing is sub-consciously is you’re telling yourself that you don’t have control over it.

This is a survival brain lie, you do absolutely have all the control over it.

And when you think you don’t have control; you’re programming your brain to NOT believe in yourself, NOT trust yourself and to NOT have confidence in your capabilities.

You’re programming your brain to believe that you DON’T absolutely have the power inside you to create more calm, more peace, more confidence, more self-trust and therefore more time for you to take care of you and therefore time to fuel your body in healthy ways.

YOU REALLY DO HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR TIME. 

Your brain may want to argue with me here and that’s OK.

So, I ask you to really question your thinking, really.

Ask yourself, how often and why do you say I’m so busy, I have to work so hard, I have to do this or that and pay bills or whatever it may be, I have to do this or that to keep a roof on my head etc.

And when you think those things how much empowerment and self-confidence do you feel?

I’m guessing NOT a whole heck of a lot.

In fact, thinking about your time like this creates stress and overwhelm for you, right?

It also creates self-doubt, fear and an inability to problem solve creatively and calmly.

And then it usually causes overeating to deal with all these emotions.
Starting to see the connection now?

So…what’s the solution?

You have to start by not buying into the survival brain idea that there is a scarcity of time and that you have no control over it.
YOU HAVE ALL THE CHOICE AND CONTROL, TRULY, YOU DO.

What if you could just start there, start by believing that you just might have the choice, the power and the control?

CONSIDER THESE IDEAS INSTEAD:

“I’m really in charge of my time.”

“I get to decide what to do with time.”

“I get to choose to believe that I have the power to be a time management ninja.”

“I can absolutely learn to take care of my time so I can take care of me and take care of the things I want to give my attention to…what if these aren’t mutually exclusive.”

“I am actually 100% capable of figuring out how to create a calmer life in relationship to my time and therefore be able to give my body the attention it has been soooo patiently waiting to receive from me…”

SIDENOTE: And on that note, one thing I invite you to consider is thinking about your body as a sweet entity, or a sweet child you love, or someone with whom you are falling in love.
And that that sweet entity, sweet child or lover is just dying for you to give it the attention it needs…because this is truly what is happening.

Your body is so patient with you and then it will get to a point, that it just can’t tolerate our lack of attention and prioritization…and they start to leave us and fall apart.

SO…when you start to help your mindset shift to a calmer, empowered relationship with your time you give yourself the gift of learning to do that for your body too…you can realize that health and the things you’d like to accomplish are not mutually exclusive.

ONE MORE THING TO DO TO HELP SOLVE THIS:

Keep a time journal. Make a note of exactly how you use your time all day. 

How much time is spent on distracting yourself? 

Don’t do this to make yourself feel guilty, just go through and notice how much time you spend on things that you could be using to choose fuel foods and take care of your body.

So…by shifting how you interact and prioritize your time, you actually start to create a more harmonious partnership with your body.

You start to manage not only your time better; you take care of you better.

This is totally possible for you and this world needs you.

Love, 
Candy

p.s. If you are ready to start the simple step-by-step process to learn how to create time for yourself and your body so you lose the over age 50-ish+ 50 lbs for good, let’s chat.

​​CLICK HERE  to set up your free 60 minute coaching consult call now to start believing in yourself and that you truly do have the power already inside you to create this change for good.

How To Stop Getting Stuck In “It’s Too Hard to Lose Weight after 50-ish+”

One of the reasons you struggle with losing the over 50-ish weight-gain, is because you have Obstacle Thoughts.

Here are some examples:

“Losing ______pounds feels like so much work, I don’t know that I can do it.”

“I’ve tried so many times, I always quit on myself, I don’t know that I can bear that again.”

“It’s been so much harder to make weight-loss stick since I started getting older, I don’t know how to stick to it over time and stop the yo-yo.”

“I just keep wanting to eat sugar and treats that I know aren’t the best for me, but I can’t figure out how to stop.”

“Trying to lose weight is such an emotionally painful process, I’m always so harsh on myself. I can’t stand to beat myself up, guilt myself or willpower it anymore.”

THESE THOUGHTS ARE CALLED OBSTACLE THOUGHTS.

Every time a client starts with me, our first session is about uncovering some of the obstacle thoughts that have kept them from losing the over 50-ish+ weight for good.

What are EXACTLY are obstacle thoughts you may ask?

You read some examples up above and this is how I define them:
They are the thoughts that present themselves any time you set a goal to change or think about making a change (for example: losing weight after 50-ish+).

They are the thoughts that automatically and instinctively come from your brain to tell you why you “can’t” accomplish that goal.

They are the default software, if you will, they come automatically.
These thoughts are part of your survival brain wiring system and they default to look in your past memory for evidence of whether you’ve been successful at that change or not.

And when your brain can’t find much evidence, if any, that you’ve been successful at that desired goal/change, your default, survival brain brings up Obstacle Thoughts.

So, again, they are the thoughts that basically tell you all the reasons you can’t make that change.

And the reason the brain defaults like this is just to make you aware the it will require effort and extra calories to accomplish the thing you started to think about.

And that’s all the survival brain is concerned about conserving calories, so you don’t overextend them and die…but that’s really the survival brain’s favorite Obstacle Thought…how many times have you died because you put effort into something? Really?

So those Obstacle Thoughts that you’ll “die if you work too hard” instinctively cause you to feel fear and self-doubt.

That usually makes you get scared or discouraged and therefore throws you into your fight/flight/freeze system a bit and this is usually why you quit trying.

These obstacle thoughts kind of sound sound like a bummer, huh?

What if they aren’t a bummer?

What if there’s actually a really good reason they occur?

What if they are actually part of the road map to helping you make that change?

What if they are actually a way your brain gives you information to figure out how to how to actually make the change?

When you start to look at these thoughts this way, YOUR WHOLE WORLD CHANGES.

And the reason it changes is because by asking these questions, it moves you from the survival fight/flight/freeze system, to the pre-frontal cortex problem-solving realm in your brain.

Let me give you an example of what I mean:

I was coaching a client yesterday and we were uncovering her obstacle thoughts about losing 49 pounds.

She’s lost almost 20 pounds and wants to lose about 49 more.

And her thought was:

“49 pounds sounds like so much work.”

When she noticed that thought, she felt a little overwhelmed and some doubt…

SO, I ASKED HER THESE QUESTIONS AND I RECOMMEND YOU
ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS WHEN YOU HAVE OBSTACLE THOUGHTS:

What if that thought was just information from your brain?

What if it was your brain is helping you see something?

What would it be?

What if it was really just telling you, yes, you will need to do some work?

What if you take a step back and look at the information as objective data your brain is giving you?

What if this is actually what you could hear your brain say:

“Yes, there is some work to do, and that’s OK. Of course, there’s some work to do and you actually know exactly what to do. You’ve already lost 20, you know exactly how to do that easily. 49 pounds, is just repeating what you already know how to do and keep going.”

This Obstacle Thought of “it will be hard work” is one of our survival brain’s most popular Obstacle thoughts.

Our survival brain makes our body and brain feel scared about the “hard work” we haven’t done yet….but what if it’s not a big deal…

What if it really is just work and it’s not as hard as we think it is?

The irony is, that if we think it is hard, our brains will make it hard.

If we think, “I can do this, I got this, I know how to do this”, guess what, that’s what our brains will do (because our thought are the software that create our results).

The more I questioned her, the more she could see exactly what she needed to do which was: Eat protein, veggies and good fats, drink water, do loving movement 3-4 times a week, don’t snack, stick to her eating window 12-8 don’t eat before, don’t eat after, and manage her emotions without food when she felt emotional.
That was it.

That IS the “hard work” her brain was helping he start to see would need to be done, that’s it.

She’d already done that “hard work” and it wasn’t that hard at all. 

She ALREADY knew how to do that work.

AND…It was actually WAY easier because of the way I’d taught her to do it.

She immediately started to feel calmer and think more clearly and from a problem-solving space (an indicator that she was connecting to her pre-frontal cortex).

So, she went from overwhelmed and a bit of doubt to feeling capable and totally committed to getting it done and killing her goal.

She lost 3 pounds last week and being in partnership with her brain and body like this is what is going to keep her going, and I know she will hit her goal.

So, what if you can start to notice the thoughts that feel discouraging or cause overwhelm and fear about the weight-loss process and start to just see them as possible messages that our brain wants us to know.
What if your brain really wants to help you?

What if the clues to solve parts of the over-50-ish+ weight-loss puzzle are actually in those thoughts?

What if it’s not trying to discourage you, it’s trying to speak to you?

And what if your job is to learn the tools and steps to listen and hear what your brain is actually trying to tell you?

I’m going to let you in on a secret…this is the truth, your brain and body are just waiting for you to learn to listen, hear and be in partnership with them.

Your brain and body have all the wiring inside them to know exactly what to do to be at your natural healthy weight and be feeling great…

AND…you just need to learn to listen.

This changes everything.

This is what IS possible for you too.

Happy Friday.

Love,
Candy

p.s. if you know it’s time to learn the step-by-step process that I teach my clients to uncover and change your obstacle thoughts, which builds so much self-confidence and trust in themselves, they lose up to 50 lbs. FOR GO CLICK HERE NOW TO SCHEDULE YOUR FREE 60 MINUTE COACHING CONSULT CALL TODAY.
p.p.s.

And if you haven’t joined yet: Join my free private FB group: Lose 50 over 50-ish+.  In that group I share super useful, daily tools to help you in this process Click h

How To Compassionately Win With Food On Vacation

This week my hubby and I went on vacation to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

I didn’t expect to have sugar food challenge…but I did.

A brownie. (My other former Achilles Heel food).

WHAAA?

In Mexico?

YES. In Mexico.

If you’re familiar with the sweets in Mexico, most of them aren’t nearly as sweet as they are back home and therefore I never thought I’d really “like” any sweets here.

So, it was kind of a serious shock to find what my hubby called in his TripAdvisor review: 

“Never in all my travels have I had a better brownie. Never. Not in my mother’s kitchen with all the love she could put into them.”

Let me tell you a little more…

On our first day here, we went to a place called Maria Baja (yes I totally recommend making a planned stop here) because it was ranked #1 on TripAdvisor. No, I don’t get a kickback. 

I planned to have a fish taco and whatever veggies they had available.

Then my hubby got a brownie. Which is pretty usual for him.

He likes brownies a lot. He plans for them, he eats them. 

I don’t usually crave them anymore, I don’t like them much any more they taste way too sweet and corn syrupy for me.

Then out came the brownie, he started to salivate as he ate it and said, oh, that’s good.

Um, so I had a bite, then I had 4-5 more bites.

And it was just as John described:  probably the best brownie on the planet, made from scratch.

So, my brain made an immediate plan to come back before the week was out and get my own.

2 things were going on here:

1.   Lots of survival brain thoughts like the ones I had around the corn chips (“You must eat brownie while in Mexico, it’s the ONLY one in the world that is worth it, you may die if you don’t have another before you go home…etc.”

2.   I hadn’t planned with a commitment before going to this restaurant that I wouldn’t eat any sugar-because I didn’t even consider it an option in Mexico.

So, my brain went to planning for the next time we would return to the restaurant and have the delicious tacos (and they were also the best I’ve ever had too BTW) and OF COURSE THE BROWNIE…

So, yeah, yesterday for lunch, we went back, and I had my own brownie.

And then when we went to dinner at another place, and my brain thought, “Well, you should probably try the dessert here too, it may be a life and death situation if you don’t try it too!”. 

SERIOUSLY, brain…and guess what… 

It was kinda yucky. NOT WORTH IT. (It was mousse in a “flower pot” see photo 😊.)

SO, this morning, as I expected, because I know my body well,  I woke up and my body felt a little sluggish and my brain felt “fuzzy and low”.

My brain actually feels a little physically depressed and dizzy when I eat sugar now…I love that it’s sensitive like this now.

So, I want to share about how I am taking myself through this experience with understanding, self-compassion and learning instead of shame and eating more brownies.

HERE ARE 7 TIPS & TAKE-AWAYS I’M TAKING FROM THIS EXPERIENCE:

1.   I honor that I’m human and that my brain will ALWAYS want to have easiest hit of dopamine it can, so of course it’s going to want a brownie or two or more. I don’t shame that human instinct. That’s all it is. A human survival instinct that doesn’t go away, so make peace with it.

So, I’m not going to be shocked by this and I am committed to not shaming myself for this EVER. I invite you to do the same.

2.   I expect that after I eat something like this, it will affect my hunger and satiation hormones because it always will. 

It affects my insulin and leptin (leptin is the hormone that tells you that you’re full – when insulin is spiked, this hormone can’t do its job, so you feel hungry when you’re not.)

So, I expect to “think” I’m hungrier than I really am afterwards. So, I drink extra water, tea with heavy cream or broth and remind myself that it’s not true hunger. I wait until my tummy actually has true grumbles in it and I’m truly hungry to eat again. Then I will eat veggies, protein and fats…which are the only foods our bodies need.


3.   THEN…I expect that my brain will want to repeat that hit of dopamine while I’m here because my brain will have survival scarcity thoughts about this being the “ONLY PLACE IN THE WORLD YOU CAN GET THIS AND YOU COULD DIE IF YOU DON’T GET ANOTHER BEFORE YOU LEAVE!!!”

4.   I plan to have another brownie while I’m here at least 24 hours in advance and I pay careful attention to how it tastes, feels in my body in my mouth and then I notice how I feel after.

I noticed that felt more a little more sluggish, slightly more cognitively distracted, a little fuzzy, and my mood felt a little low…this is what sugar does to my body and I DON’T love feeling this way.

5.   Then, I made a decision. My decision is that I’m done with the brownies on this trip because I actually like feeling alive, cognitively sharper, energetic than having more brownies.

6.   And I choose to always think, “I love me, and I love the version of me I get to be as I take care of me. I’m always in control of what I eat, and I always know what to do to take care of me.”

7.   I will never underestimate a country around sugar again. I will expect that there could be a food challenge, I will plan for it as best I can when I go on trips from now on.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Love,
Candy

p.s. If you are ready to cognitively and compassionately stop being so challenged by “trigger foods or Achilles heel foods” so that you Stop Emotional Overeating and Lose the Mid-Life Weight-gain for good, I can help you. In my 6-month, one-on-one online coaching program I will teach you the step-by-step processes and tools to do this. 

To get started today, CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE your free 60 min coaching consultation call now. You will be a different person from just this call alone. 

p.s. if you’ve been putting this off, now’s the time to secure your spot. I have a waiting list and my first spots are opening up in March 2020. CLICK HERE now to get the process started.

3 Steps to Create Victorious Weight-Loss Results Today: And it’s not what you think…

Last week I shared about the 1st thing that people’s brains do when they start to lose weight…today I’m going to talk about the other thing:

THE BRAIN FREAKS OUT BECAUSE WE’VE MADE A CHANGE AND IT’S NOT SURE HOW TO PROCESS AND THINK ABOUT THE CHANGE.

And the brain is wired to default to old habits so…it just keeps us in the same habits when we are not aware of it.

This is why we lose weight and gain it back.

This why we struggle to lose weight in the first place: we haven’t learned to work with HOW our brain is wired and all our survival instinct has us do things that keep us stuck in the same habit loops.

ERGO: no change or change and default back to where we were.

And what I mean by “the brain freaks out”, a technical term as you can tell, is that when we start a change process and have just accomplished a new change, we have to train our brains to accept the new change and continue to focus on the end goal.

This is not instinctive.

Let me give some examples.

You’re starting or wanting to start the weight-loss process.

You’re feeling trepidation a lot of fear because you’ve lost weight and gained it back in the past.

Your brain is thinking thoughts like:

“What if this doesn’t work? Thing’s haven’t worked in the past…I’ve tried everything…This is hard…I  don’t know how to do this or what to do, I shouldn’t have to be struggling with this dang it…

OR

You hit a weight-loss goal.

Then you hit a plateau or you start to worry about gaining it back.

Your brain freaks out and starts thinking things like:

“I should keep losing weight, I shouldn’t plateau, it should be easier, it’s not working, this is hard, I can’t do this, oh no, I might gain it back…or I don’t know what’s happening…”

Let me just get to the point:

All these types of thoughts ONLY  create a lot of mental noise and emotional constipation.

Let me say that again:

All these types of thoughts ONLY create  a lot of mental noise and emotional constipation.

ALWAYS…

And LOTS of mental noise (harsh mental voices) and emotional constipation feels AWFUL, right?

You know why?

Because any thoughts like the above, take our amazing brain computers OFF THE GOAL because it’s disconnected from your pre-frontal cortex!

It cuts you off from your connection to your supercomputer pre-frontal cortex and you start making decisions from your survival mode brain and then…

When the brain just switches into survival mode,  and you’re not aware of it and you don’t have a system in place, YOU start making choices that won’t get you to your goal.

So, ask yourself, how long do you want to hang out with the pain of LOTS of mental noise (harsh mental voices) and emotional constipation and not reaching your goal?

So, you may ask…

Yeah, Candy, so what do I do?

Well, let me point out that the brain will always want to ask: “What do I do?”

And that’s not actually what you do…

To solve this, we have to start at the beginning with why it’s happening.

We have to start by seeing all the thoughts in your brain as software that tells your body what to do.

So we need to unravel this background brain software first.

I like to describe this process with one of my coaches concepts called the “Before and After Process.”

THE BEFORE AND AFTER PROCESS:

PART 1: We start with what thoughts your brain is thinking now: The Before.

PART 2: Then we re-direct the brain to where it really wants to be: The After.

PART 3: We look at what thoughts that will help you actually get to The After: The In Between

PART 1: THE BEFORE:

STEP 1: We start by COMPASSIONATELY asking ourselves what thoughts we have now.

Why? Because thoughts are the “software programs” that are creating all the results in our lives.

If you’re not conscious, semi-conscious or even conscious of some of the thoughts you have about weight-loss, (which we all have all of these), you won’t be aware of how to start “re-programming” and re-directing and therefor start truly changing your brain (and behavior) in effective, long-term ways.

Where we are with our weight-loss results right now is the accumulation of the thoughts we’ve thought up until today.

They ARE THE reason, there is no other reason, that we struggle, that we haven’t created the results we most want.

That’s it.

HOMEWORK: So, your homework here is:

STEP 1: Think about and write down all the thoughts you’ve had about weight-loss in the past and all the thoughts you have today about weight-loss if they are different.

Don’t edit ANY OF THEM.

STEP 2: Write down the calm thoughts, the fearful thoughts, the worried thoughts, the self-doubt thoughts all of them. Then just look at them and notice how thinking them and looking at them makes you feel.

My guess is looking and thinking those thoughts makes you feel tension, discouragement, despair, and or fear, right?

There’s a reason for this…

Thoughts create our feelings.

So, when those thoughts are running like software in the back of our brains…

It just keeps creating those feelings and those feelings don’t motivate us to change, they just keep us in our Survival Brain Mode system…

And what do we do in Survival Mode?

Yep, survive.

Not change, not move, not thrive.

STEP 3: Give yourself think time, write it down and put that on your mirror and re-direct your brain to that each day.

STEP 4: Schedule a time on your calendar to do this activity. Don’t just think about it. Go schedule it now, put it on your calendar now, (if you’re not doing it right now) and give yourself this gift of your own attention.

Now…

PART 2: THE AFTER:

STEP 1: We start by asking ourselves  this question:

“What would my future self, who has already accomplished this weight-loss goal and is keeping it off be thinking.”

This question is important because it actually makes your brain shift from the default thoughts to connect to your pre-frontal cortex, which is the creation powerhouse, super problem solver, and long-term change maker.

You have to train your brain to think new thoughts regularly in any change process because thinking the same things and doing the same things and expecting a different result…IS INSANITY…right?!

HOMEWORK: Ask yourself, what would my future self who has lost weight and is keeping it off be thinking?

Let me offer you something here, your future self wouldn’t be thinking, I’m scared, I wonder if I can do this or even, I think I can do this.

NO, your future self who already accomplished the goal is thinking:

I did it.

I will never gain the weight back again because I know EXACTLY what to do to keep it off.

I’m 100% committed to maintaining and protecting my mental, physical and emotional health.

I love and trust myself around food.

I love and trust myself no matter what.

I love and trust myself even when I don’t like what I do.

I am the expert on my brain and body, and I know how to take care of my body and my brain in ways that are loving and compassionate.

I DID THE WORK, I MADE IT WORK. (Future self NEVER thinks: It’s not working-future self owns responsibility for ALL results and thoughts.)

I’m ALWAYS in control.

I ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.

I give myself the gift of exercise and I do that lovingly and regularly. Period.

I’m a person who exercises regularly and does it from a place of giving myself the loving gift of movement. It is a gift.

I show up for me.

I love showing up for me because I love the amazing, yummy version of me that I get to be when I show up for me…and that version of me blesses my world in amazing ways!

I know EXACTLY how to lose weight.

I know EXACTLY how to maintain weight-loss, period.

This is who I am now.

You’re welcome to start borrowing some of my thoughts.

These are all the thoughts my brain believes now. 100%.

These thoughts that I have ARE THE REASON I lost 65 lbs and I keep it off easily.

HOMEWORK:

STEP 1: Ask yourself what would my future self be thinking about weight-loss and weight-loss maintenance?

Write it down.

Don’t edit it.

STEP 2: Give yourself think time, write it down and put that on your mirror and re-direct your brain to that each day.

STEP 3: Schedule a time on your calendar to do this activity. Don’t just think about it. Go schedule it now, put it on your calendar now, (if you’re not doing it right now) and give yourself this gift of your own attention.

PART 3:  THE IN BETWEEN

As you read this, you may be thinking, OK, my thoughts aren’t at THE AFTER stage yet, how the heck do I get there?

Well, as you can guess, this is EXACTLY what we do in coaching, but let me share a bit about THE IN BETWEEN process to get you started.

STEP 1: Wherever you may be in this process, ask yourself 2 questions:

QUESTION 1: What would my future self advise me to do to get closer to THE AFTER GOAL?

This may seem like a simple question, but this question also connects you to your pre-frontal cortex AND again, the most amazing problem solver on the planet.

Then listen.

Keep asking the question, give yourself time to write it down, to think about it.

QUESTION 2: What do I need to think and feel and do today, in the next 10 minutes, in the next hour to get me closer to THE AFTER GOAL?

Then, again, listen, write it down.

These questions help your brain start coming up with the IN BETWEEN STEPS.

Here are some thoughts that can be very helpful:

I can figure this out.

I haven’t tried everything, or I would have figured this out.

I’m learning that I can do this.

I’m learning how to keep my word to myself.

I’m learning how to have my own back.

I’m learning to show up for me.

I’m learning to take care of my body and brain in new ways.

I’m learning that I matter.

I’m learning that when I show up for me, I love me more, and I create even more amazing results.

Yes, you can borrow these too.

What if your brain really did know and you REALLY do have it inside you to figure this out?

HOMEWORK: Ask yourself these two questions each day this week:

  1. What would my future self advise me to do to get closer to THE AFTER GOAL?
  2. What do I need to think and feel and do today, in the next 10 minutes, in the next hour to get me closer to THE AFTER GOAL?
  3. Give yourself think time, write it down and put that on your mirror and re-direct your brain to that each day.
  4. Schedule a time on your calendar to do this activity. Don’t just think about it. Go schedule it now, put it on your calendar now, (if you’re not doing it right now) and give yourself this gift of your own attention.

DO ALL THE HOMEWORK IN THIS LESSON TODAY AND SCHEDULE IT  IN YOUR CALENDAR WHEN YOU WILL DO IT…DON’T MISS THIS STEP OF SCHEDULING AND FOLLOWING THROUGH, NO MATTER WHAT.

SCHEDULE IT IN YOUR CALENDAR AND GIVE THIS GIFT TO YOURSELF.

If you start this process, IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE and you will be blown away by all that you can do.

I promise, I did it, my clients do it and you can too.

Have a wonderful week!

Love,

Candy

p.s. If you are ready to start YOUR BEFORE process so you can close the IN BETWEEN gap and truly have THE AFTER you most want of losing the weight for good, stopping your emotional overeating and calming all the noise in your mind around food, your body and your weight, CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE YOUR FREE 60 MINUTE COACHING CALL NOW.

I will teach you all these steps in my 6-month online one-on-one program so you truly start creating YOUR AFTER that you most want CLICK HERE AND GET STARTED TODAY.

It’s Time To Make Yourself a Priority

You are a super woman.

Really.

You do and do and do and do…for so many others…

And you wear yourself into the ground at times…or let’s be honest, maybe A LOT…

And it hardly even occurs to you to yourself on your priority list of things to do…

Not for any other reason other than you’re a great person and you do want to be useful and contribute…

But it’s taking it’s toll…

You’re exhausted, you’re carrying extra weight, you’re achy…

And you so wish you could move, play, hike, dance like you used to…

And did you know not learning the simple, guilt-free steps to put yourself on the priority list is one of THE TOP reasons I see that women gain weight in mid-life…

It’s not about the weight…it’s about the mental and emotional weight of things we currently have on our lists and are putting on our lists of things to do…

And it’s the accumulation of this mental and emotional weight over the years that so often turns into physical weight…

And all this means is that you just haven’t learned the simple step-by-step tools to work with the emotional and mental weight in a way that doesn’t turn into physical, mid-life weight gain…

And that’s totally possible.

The weight of your priority list can actually be more simple, so much more peaceful and so much more life-giving instead of draining.

This is what one woman learned in spades in just one 20 min coaching session with me.

In my private Facebook Group: Stop Emotional Overeating, periodically, I offer a free 20 minute coaching session…

And Marcia, who gives her permission to share, had a HUGE breakthrough in the area of learning to put herself as a priority and I can’t wait to share that with you.

CLICK HERE NOW TO WATCH MARCIA’S BREAKTHROUGH

While we were doing her free 20 min coaching session, her cat started to bother her.

I told her I would edit it out, but then she had a huge breakthrough about putting everything else as a priority…and I decided to leave the cat calling her attention in because it was the perfect example of how everything in her life had been grabbing for her attention, instead of consciously choosing and seeing that she wanted to put herself as a priority. It’s sooo good. And she gets really passionate at the end about it…and now she’s starting to put herself as priority…

And she got this all, from just one 20 min coaching session with me.

This is just a tiny piece of the beginning of the tools that I teach in my 6-month, individual online program.

Imagine what else you could do with all the tools.

If you know it’s time to learn the simple, step-by-step tools to put yourself on the priority list, let’s chat.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE COACHING STRATEGY CALL NOW

Love,

Candy

p.s. If you’d like to join our Free, Private Facebook Community CLICK HERE to join private group now.