You think you have a willpower or a follow through problem – AKA: Can’t make yourself stick to healthy habits.
And you feel so embarrassed because this is so not you. You are a woman of great strength so why can’t you do it with food???
My friend, that’s not it at all.
The problem you have isn’t willpower or follow through.
You know what it is?
The problem is that you have a human brain with a pre-factory installed “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” and you don’t understand how to work with it instead of against it.
And this “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” goes into stall, stop and stuck mode when you don’t know how to work with it.
What is this “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” you ask?
First of all, it’s factory installed…meaning if you have a human brain…nothing’s wrong, this is what human brains do.
It’s basically a mental R.O.I. (return on investment) calculation system that is running in your mind ALWAYS ON DEFAULT.
This system kicks into gear when you consider undertaking a new goal.
Then it starts to calculate how much energy it will take you to get to that end goal.
Then it tells you: HOLY COW it’s going to take a lot of energy to get there from where you are right now to ALL the way over there, what are you thinking??
Then then when you don’t have the tools to understand this about your brain and how to work with it, you feel, overwhelmed, afraid or discouraged (or maybe even shame or self-pity).
And it will sound something like this in your head: “Um…You probably don’t want to even start, that will be too hard, it will require too much energy, you should already know better, what are you thinking-you can’t do that?”
Except none of that is true.
That’s just what it sounds like when the brain is trying to tell you that you have several steps to between where you are and where you want to go.
This pre-factory installed “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” only sees where you are and where you’re thinking of going.
It CANNOT see the steps in between…
It’s like if you’re planning a trip, of course there are going to be many miles between where you are and where you’re going to be…expecting there to be a teleporter that shoots you straight to Santorini, Italy, the moment you say you want to go…well, at least in today’s reality, it’s just not how things work.
So, you have to understand how to do the steps in between to get where you want to go.
It’s doesn’t work to let “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” think that it’s either teleportation to your goal weight or stay stuck and discouragement where you’re at forever.
SO…
It’s taking the steps in between that MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE to actually hitting the goal.
So, start with one small step at a time:
STEP 1: To lose the weight, FOR GOOD, it’s crucial you catch the “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” and say, hmmm…isn’t that interesting…I can see that there are several steps to get to my goal…and that’s OK.
STEP 2: Set a specific goal including: what by when: EX: I’ll lose 30 lbs. in 4 months by Aug 31, 2020.
STEP 3: Expect your brain to feel overwhelmed, afraid, discouraged etc. after you set the goal. Tell yourself: “This is just the “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” worried about spending too much energy. I just need to remember to break it into small in-between steps.”
STEP 4: DO THE ACTUAL MATH AND PUT THE PLANNED STEPS ON PAPER:
- EXAMPLE GOAL: LOSE 30 LBS IN 4 MONTHS by 8/31/20
- EXAMPLE MATH: that’s approximately 1 lb. a week for 32 weeks
- EXAMPLE PLAN:
- Week 1: I will plan my meals for the week, and I will plan proteins, fats and veggies in at all my lunches and then celebrate my wins and evaluate my week.
- Week 2: I will continue with what I’ve been doing and start eliminating sugar and flour 4-5 days a week and celebrate my wins and evaluate my week.
- Week 3: I will continue with what I’ve been doing and not snack between meals & celebrate my wins and evaluate my week.
- Week 4: I will continue with what I’ve been doing and work on getting proteins, fats, and veggies in at my dinners now too and evaluate my week.
- Continue to map it out week by week, step by step.
STEP 5: Your brain may not want to map it out. Do it any way. This is just the “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” thinking it’s teleportation or nothing kicking in again.
So go back to Step 1: Math and Plan: Break down the planning: I’ll plan for 30 or 60 min today @ 12 and I’ll plan for 30 or 60 min tomorrow @ 12 if I need more time.
When you work with your “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” by doing these 5 steps…
You build self-trust.
You build self-confidence
You build self-love
You build self-empowerment.
You start losing the weight and you understand exactly how to start keeping the weight off for good and then you do.
This is what is possible.
This is what I help you do in my 6-month, online 1:1 coaching program. I teach you how to work with your “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” so it’s so much easier, so that you have support to walk through these steps until they become your default system, you lose the weight for good and have no doubt you’ll ever gain it back.
One of my clients this week said: “This is the most results I’ve ever received from a program and so much more helpful than ALL the years of help I’ve gotten.”
Happy Friday,
Love,
Candy
p.s. if you’re ready to stop being stuck in the “All or Nothing Default System” and you’re ready to stop expecting teleportation and you’re ready to commit to taking care of you step by compassionate step, I can help you. CLICK HERE TO APPLY TO WORK WITH ME NOW.
p.p.s. You may be nervous to ask for coaching because you think you should know better or you’re ashamed because you think you should be able to know and do this on your own. That’s Ok. I want you to know, you actually shouldn’t know. This is NOT something most people grow up learning. So, it’s actually rare when people do. It’s a toolbox to be learned and is totally within your reach