I LOVE ME – THE Most Crucial Key to Long-Term Weight-Loss & Long-Term Change



How easy or hard is it for you to truly say – I LOVE ME?

How easy or hard is it for you to truly believe – I LOVE ME?

OK, not me as in Candy, but ME as in YOU.

I want you to really ask yourself that.

What in the world does this have to do with long-term weight-loss & long-term change with anything?

E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

It’s EVERYTHING.

It’s the only thing that works long-term for change.

We have to learn to love and trust ourselves.

It may seem like a big feat, but there are a few simple steps.

But let me share a quick story.

Last week, I did a video on self-love.

The irony about that video is that I was starting to see only the first bits of the power of self-love for that week.

I had spent a few weeks, seriously not realizing that I was quietly beating myself up for “not measuring up”. 


I was comparing myself to some other people in my coach-sphere about building my business and my brain kept telling me things like:

“You’re not doing it right.”
“You’re not doing it fast enough.”
“You’re not doing enough.”
“You’re not enough.”

(That gol’ darn compare and despair instinct-we’ll talk more about that later) 

BAM.

Sound like self-love to you?

Nope. Me neither.

The crazy thing was that I couldn’t hear it or see it.

I couldn’t hear how unloving I was being to myself.

I just thought it was the dang truth.

I was listening to those voices and thought, yep, you’re right. Yep, you’re right, and it felt like treading water with cement shoes on.

It felt like struggling & fighting with a tiger in my chest.


CAN YOU RELATE?

Where in your life to you catch these thoughts coming up?

I couldn’t see that those thoughts weren’t true.

The reason I couldn’t see they weren’t true was because…

They were in my mind’s blind spot. Each one of these thoughts created fear and panic and when our brains and bodies are experiencing fear and panic, our brain closes down access to our pre-frontal cortex and we can’t “see” or think clearly or discern or problem solve nearly as well.

We can’t recognize or distinguish or rationally think because the chemical vibration of the fear emotion puts us into fight, flight or freeze and disconnects us from our amazing pre-frontal cortex that is so wise and an amazing problem solver.

An amazing coach friend of mine helped me see this.

She said: “It’s all data. It’s just math.”

When she said it’s all data, my brain flipped on.
 It Re-booted. 
It connected to my pre-frontal cortex again.


I was able to see the personal shaming I was doing and take it out of the equation. 

To my clients: sound familiar?

What if everything I’m doing in my business is just a learning process to collect data.

We do this in our weight-loss process or the relationship process or the parenting process or any new learning process.

I teach my clients to just collect data around food, their thoughts and their feelings.

I teach them to collect the data about what you eat & when & what you are thinking and feeling before and after.

Collect the data about what made your body feel good, what made your body feel not so good after.

Just observe it kindly like you would as if you were observing a tiny baby with so much love.

When I heard the phrase it’s all data, my brain instantly saw that I was making it all personal.

I was caught in my survival fear brain.

If you find yourself buying in to any of the aforementioned compare/despair/mean girl brain thoughts, around your weight-loss process or ANYTHING else in life, I invite you to take a step back and say to yourself:

I’m just collecting data. 
I’m seeing what works and what doesn’t. 
It’s not personal. 
Nothing has gone wrong. 
I choose to love me no matter what.
I choose to be kind to me even when my brain wants to not be.
I choose to love me even when I don’t like what I do.

When we start to practice and believe these thoughts, then our connection to our pre-frontal cortex comes up online again and we can problem solve from love. 

In order to REALLY CHANGE AND REALLY PROBLEM SOLVE…

WE HAVE TO START WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE FOR OURSELVES.

OTHERWISE OUR BRAIN DOESN’T HAVE ACCESS TO IT’S BEST RATIONAL, INSPIRED, CREATIVE THINKING.

THIS MY FRIENDS IS WHY THIS IS THE ONLY KEY TO LONG-TERM CHANGE.

This IS the only key for true, sustained weight-loss, that is a part of who we are and no longer a fight in our brain to happen.

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE ME.

GO SPREAD THE WORD THAT LOVE REALLY IS THE ANSWER.

Love, 
Candy

CANDY WRIGHT BURGOYNE, M.A.
CERTIFIED LIFE-COACH, WEIGHT-LOSS COACH, RELATIONSHIP & HEALING COACH
Candy Wright Coaching @ CandyWright.com


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Tackle Your Fear Around Weight-Loss & Put On Your Wonder Woman Mask

Hi Beautiful Friends,

How have you been doing this week? I’d love to know. 
Shoot me an email to [email protected] I’d love to hear any victories or struggles you’ve had this week.
I want to share a story about an amazing lady whom I met back in 1992.

She was a mentor to me and when we would go an do something slightly nerve racking while meeting new people, she’d say the most hilarious things to help herself and consequently me get the courage to go to them. (Maybe I’m assuming she needed the courage, maybe it was totally just me!)

When we’d go to meet someone new, she’d say, put on your Wonder Woman mask. She said she liked to put on her imaginary Wonder Woman mask and it helped her laugh, lighten up & gain courage to go do the next new uncomfortable thing.

She described the old plastic Wonder Woman Halloween costume masks with the slightly parted lips and she’d make her lips go into that shape. (I probably should have asked permission to share that part…forgiveness Susi?)

The thing with this lesson she taught me is that this lesson HAS NEVER LEFT ME I LOVE IT. She used humor to help me build confidence and work through fear.
(THANK YOU HERMANA WENDT-seriously!).

I was feeling some fear this last week & I just realized I forgot to put on a my imaginary Wonder Woman mask (tell myself I could do this new thing that my brain was telling me I couldn’t so…I was feeling some fear this week)

So this lack of processing my fear, (forgetting to put on my metaphorical Wonder Woman mask) resulted in me up on the scales a bit.

This often happens when I’m taking on something new in my business.

I notice that I grab a couple of things off my plan, a bit unconsciously.  Do you notice that for yourself by any chance?
I notice it and I don’t make it mean anything about me or my worth or my love-ability.

I look to see where in my life my brain is telling me a story about how I’m afraid of something or how my brain is telling me I can’t handle something.

Because that’s all that’s going on.

My brain is experiencing fear because it’s telling me some version of I can’t do something or it’s too scary…so I have chosen to become someone who learned to just notice it as self-compassionately as I can and look at what I might be worried or nervous about.

I’m an entrepreneur and just like any profession in the world, it comes with growth & new things and new skills to be learned.
It truly is an exciting roller coaster of emotions.
I notice that when I’m about to do the next thing in my business, my brain wants to distract itself by grabbing an extra couple of spoons of peanut butter or by eating after my eating window ends at 8 or by getting lost in TV and sometimes Facebook/Instagram. 
All this means is that I have a human brain, that I have a business and that I’m in the middle of doing something new (learning a new skill) in my business.
My survival brain thinks that because I’m learning something new in my business, it means I need to feel fear and that fear is too big to handle so I should graze a little and spend time on FB or watching TV.
Nothing is wrong with doing any of these things. 
They are just normal ways a human brain can AVOID feeling emotion.

AND BOY DOES OUR AMAZING BRAIN LOVE TO AVOID FEELING FEAR.

GUESS WHAT, THAT JUST MEANS WE’RE DOING SOMETHING NEW AND THAT, YEP, WE’RE HUMAN.
They are just ways the survival brain tries to tell us the lie that we can’t handle fear with courage instead of FB, TV or peanut butter (or brownies, or over working, or drinking etc.)
So what if it’s OK, that I’m learning something new, doing something new in my business and it’s OK that my brain’s instinct is to want to numb and distract myself from the fear.
What if it’s not right or wrong. What if it’s just how it is?
What if we could all learn to do new things (build a business, excel in our new job, lose weight, improve our relationships) with courage, by working through the fear instead of avoiding it?
How magical could that be?
I want to share 2 tips to work with fear…

TWO CRUCIAL TIPS TO WORKING WITH & THROUGH FEAR INSTEAD OF AVOIDING IT 
(WHICH JUST MAKES US STOP WORKING THROUGH IT 
AND SLOWS DOWN OUR LEARNING AND GROWTH) 

TIP 1: UNDERSTAND WHAT THE EMOTION OF FEAR REALLY IS:

Fear is just an emotional chemical vibration that occurs in our body. It occurs as an uncomfortable sensation in our body because our brains are telling us that something could be dangerous, to be on the look-out because we might “die”.

I use the words “uncomfortable sensations” instead of “negative emotions” because negative has negative connotations for most people LOL, right??

So what if we could look fear as an uncomfortable sensation in our body that’s just looking out for danger, it’s trying to keep us alive and most of the time, we aren’t actually in any real danger.

TIP 2: BECAUSE FEAR IS JUST AN UNCOMFORTABLE SENSATION, WE ARE CAPABLE OF LEARNING TO FEEL IT INSTEAD OF RUN FROM IT:

This one can be the more challenging for most people because everything in our instinct screams, “AH, UNCOMFORTABLE SENSATION, FIGHT, FLIGHT, FREEZE, AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS”.

But you know what, being afraid of fear is usually the problem. We are just afraid of feeling fear because we don’t know how to do it.

We haven’t learned to understand that fear is simply an uncomfortable chemical sensation that is caused by a thought we had (usually a default thought like: “This is hard” or “I can’t do this”  or “I haven’t done this before so why do I think I can…eek, I can’t”).

So here’s the craziest, most liberating tip part of this TIP 2: HOW TO PROCESS FEAR:

1. Sit still, breathe in slowly, hold in the breath as you breathe in for 5-7 seconds, then breathe out slowly and just do that 2-4 times.

2. Remind yourself that fear is just a chemical vibration that feels uncomfortable & you are learning to just feel it, it won’t kill you, you won’t die.  (Now, I’m not talking about doing this if you are in a dark alley and someone is approaching you absolutely may want to consider running. I’m talking about when your brain is telling you in your house, your job etc. that you can’t do something.)

3. Remind yourself that nothing’s actually gone wrong, you are just doing something new, or you haven’t learned these skills yet.

4. Then just notice where the fear is in your body. Where does the sensation seem to start? Where does it travel or where does it seem to have landed?

5. Observe it. Notice it. Don’t judge it.

6. Pretend you are looking at it from outside yourself and describe it. You may want to close your eyes for this part: just look at it inside your body. What does it look like, how is it moving.

7. Keep breathing, let the vibration pass through.

Do you need to become a pro at this in 1-3 sittings? Nope, but you’re brain may tell you that you should, so just expect that.

WE CAN ALL LEARN TO UNDERSTAND FEAR, PROCESS FEAR & STRENGTHEN OUR EMOTIONAL PROCESSING MUSCLES.

Have fun taking your brain to the gym & process any fear.

You got this.

You can do this

I love you.

Candy Wright Burgoyne
Certified Life Coach, Emotional Healing Expert
Certified Weight-Loss Coach & Relationship Coach

P.S. If you want more help processing through any of your fears…you don’t want to miss an amazing live workshop that I’m leading called Creating Extreme Freedom & Joy on July 13 in Bellevue, Washington.


CLICK THE SET TIME ZONE BUTTON ON LINK & IT WILL SEND YOU TO REGISTRATION PAGE.

I PROMISE YOU WILL WISH YOU HAD DONE IT SOONER AND YOU WILL LOVE IT, OR I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY BACK.


What if you could REALLY figure out anything, including how to lose weight for good?!




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Last weekend my brain felt like this fellow in the superman tank. 

It was awesome. Let me tell you about it.

Last weekend I got to go home to Arizona for a special family event.

My nephew personally invited me to participate in his baptism ceremony.

When a sweet, young boy invites me, I go.

That’s not the point of my story though.

This nephew’s mom is my sister and I offered to help her get ready for the event.

PICTURE OF MY AWESOME FAMILY: 



I got the awesome task of taking photos of my nephew, getting prints at Costco made, finding cute frames and editing and converting a PSD (A Photoshop File) small sign with his name on it.

So, I had NO idea how to do this editing and PSD converting thing. WHAT-SO-EVER. 

I knew what Adobe Photoshop was and my basic skills on the computer are pretty good, so I said, I’ll figure it out.

Two hours into working to figure it out, I still hadn’t figured it out. 

Then when I figured out one step, I got stumped on the next step.

My brain instinctively wanted to get a little frustrated.


But I wanted to try an experiment.

I talked back to my brain & the voices in my head that wanted to get frustrated and…

I told my brain: this is awesome.  You can totally figure this out. This is so fun.


I don’t want you to miss this significance of this.

Most people’s brains are instinctively wired to feel overwhelmed, discouraged or frustrated when they can’t figure something out.


Many people’s brains are in habitual neural pathway patterns to default to telling themselves they can’t do something if it seems frustrating.

I saw this ALL. THE. TIME. when I taught school. So many of my students would come up against something challenging and their default would be, I can’t. 

That’s why I taught them that we didn’t say I can’t. We said, how can I keep working at it or trying? 

This is what I teach my coaching clients.

This is what I teach & practice myself.

I, like so many people, have a brain that instinctively wants to default to discouragement. 

So last weekend, I purposefully exercised my mind power to keep telling myself:

I can figure this out. I can figure anything out.  This is fun. How can I make this fun? This is an awesome opportunity to learn.


Something happened when I re-directed my brain to these thoughts. 

I TOTALLY FIGURED IT OUT.

I WAS VICTORIOUS AND THE LITTLE SIGN LOOKED REALLY CUTE.

AND MY BRAIN BLEW UP THE NEXT DAY WHILE I WAS IN MY EXERCISE CLASS.

I could feel something happen in my brain and the only way I can describe it was like a serious epiphany of complete and utter belief and knowledge that I REALLY COULD FIGURE ANYTHING OUT.

It felt like that was actually who I had just become and was: I am a person who can figure anything out. And it feels like that’s who I am today.

I invite you to notice the instinctive voices or default pattern of thoughts your brain tells you about weight-loss or anything you are trying to accomplish for that matter.


I invite you to just notice, are they negative.

Do the patterns sound like…this is hard?  I can’t do this?  I’m never going to succeed? I don’t know how to do it, might as well go back to my old patterns?

If so, this why you haven’t accomplished the thing.

What if you were to start to practice thinking:

What if I can figure this weight-loss thing out?

What if I can figure out this ____________thing out?

What if I can learn how to like eating food that my body really healthily thrives on?

What if I can or what if it’s possible to start to crave that great type of food?

What if I CAN FIGURE ANYTHING OUT?

Just notice what your brain may say to even reading these questions.

Catch any negativity and say, what if it’s possible….

Re-direct your instinctive brain patterns to asking these questions and practice telling yourself: 

I can figure anything out.

What if you could BECOME a person who believes this and it’s part of your neural pathway habit patterns?

This is possible

Because, you are a human and you have so many innate gifts and abilities, and one of these is being able to figure things out. The end.

I love you.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Love, 
Candy

Hugs & loves to you.

CANDY WRIGHT BURGOYNE, M.A.
CERTIFIED LIFE-COACH, WEIGHT-LOSS COACH, RELATIONSHIP & HEALING COACH
FREE YOUR JOY! COACHING


p.s. If any of this resonated with you and you would d like more help & support in learning how to figure things out, I got your back.

Shoot me an email and let’s chat. You can sign up for your free coaching consult call here on the button below and you’ll learn how the tools I teach and the gifts that I have to share will change you like nothing else you’ve tried before.


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Create more love, peace, understanding, empowerment & freedom in all your relationships!

Candy Wright Burgoyne

Life Coach, Weight-Loss Coach

Relationship Coach & 
Emotional Healing Expert
Hi beautiful friends!

There used to be a time when I misunderstood men (and women for that matter) and it created a lot of pain in my life.

I learned some amazing tools that helped me create the relationship of my dreams not only with my hubby, but with all the people I encounter. I’m by no means perfect, but I have TONS of love, peace, respect & joy in all my relationships. You can create this too.

If you are interested in understanding the men & women in your world better and creating more peace, understanding and partnership, come join me for an online (via Zoom) CO-ED workshop this Thursday @ 6:30pm-8:00pm that I am leading.

Learn the  secrets to understand how to communicate with a man of any age (sons, partners, co-workers, friends) to feel heard & respected.

Learn the secrets to understand how to communicate with a woman of any age (daughters, partners, co-workers, friends) so you will feel heard & respected.


The investment is only $15

If you are in the same household, you may join together for 1 fee.
Please feel free to share with friends!

Love,

Candy

Are you stuck in an emotion that never seems to stop? How to stop it & stop overeating because of it.


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I want you to ask yourself what are the 2-4 dominant feelings you feel on a daily basis.

The answer to this question can be extremely illuminating.

Are they happiness? Joy? Peace? Fulfillment? Purpose?

Are they stress? Resentment? Guilt? Shame? Anxiety?

If they are more like this last set of feelings, this can often be the cause of our overeating, binge watching or anything we do to numb and distract ourselves.

You may experience a combo of feelings…maybe happiness & stress?

All feelings are information.

They are there to teach us.

They are neither “right” nor “wrong”, they are literally chemical vibrations that come through our bodies that are caused by the thoughts we think.

When we are in an auto-pilot thought process, we continually create the same feelings for ourselves over and over.

We can get in the habit of creating shame, anxiety, resentment, stress for ourselves daily.

In like manner, we can also create the habit of feeling happiness, joy, peace, fulfillment.

It’s crucial to notice what feelings we continue to feel each day because they will give us an idea of what we are thinking & what our hearts most want to change.

There are a few feelings/emotions we can get stuck in. 

They start to spiral and it can feel like a never-ending whirlpool that sucks us in & down, and makes us feel stuck and spiraling out of control.

These feelings that we can get stuck in and spiral down in are: overwhelm, confusion, worry, anxiety, indecisiveness, shame or even feeling a never-ending feeling of victimization or martyrdom.

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?

We get stuck in emotional repeat patterns because of how our brains interpret things from our past and these emotions literally go on auto-pilot and become the habitual way we look at the world & interpret what people say and do.

Our brains default to interpret new situations with those habitual emotional filters and we continue to re-create those same emotions for ourselves over and over.

So someone could have felt some shame as a child because her parent said things that made her feel she was not living up to the parental expectations. Her brain may have concluded that she was unworthy of love. The child could then get in the habit of interpreting any feedback or words from another person to mean that she was unworthy of love.

She has created a life-time habit of shame thinking that she is unworthy of love, but it wasn’t intentional. She didn’t do this on purpose. Her brain got in the habit when it was young, (as our brains do when we are young) and continued to repeat the pattern.

THE GOOD NEWS

The good news is that we can learn new patterns of emotions. We can learn to re-train our brains to default to new emotions and therefore create new experiences for our lives.

WHERE TO START & WHAT TO DO

A great place to start is by noticing and doing the following writing exercise:

What are your 2-4 main feelings you experience each day?

List them down: 1_________2__________3___________4______________

Then ask yourself why do you think you have these feelings each day?

Write down an answer for each one.

Then ask yourself what would you like your top 2-4 feelings to be each day and why?

Then ask yourself, how do you think your life and your results in all parts of your world would change if you changed these feelings? Would you change any of them? Why, why not?

As you become aware of the feelings you create each day, you can give yourself more power to be aware of them & then change them if you want to. 

This can be a huge tool to improve your ability to stop emotional overeating or anything you may be doing to avoid pain.

I’d love to hear your answers to these questions.

Have a super weekend!

I love you,

Candy

Hugs & loves to you.

CANDY WRIGHT BURGOYNE, M.A.
CERTIFIED LIFE-COACH, WEIGHT-LOSS COACH, RELATIONSHIP & HEALING COACH
FREE YOUR JOY! COACHING

p.s. If any of this resonated with you and you’d like more support with this, I’d love to hop on a free coaching call with you. 

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3 Secrets to Stop Emotional Eating & Start Losing Weight Today




Hi beautiful friends,

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about you.

I’ve been thinking about the heavy feeling (often guilt & shame) you carry when your brains are beating you up for not figuring out how to lose weight.

I see you. I hear you. I feel you. I’ve been there.

And this is totally solve-able.

You can do this.


Here are 3 Secrets to Stop Emotional Eating & Start Losing Weight Today.


SECRET 1: START WITH COMPASSION FOR OURSELVES

We start with compassion in looking at ourselves & where we are at. Compassion may sound like a fluffy word to some, but it is crucial. 

We will NEVER create lasting change by beating ourselves up. We cannot beat or shame ourselves into lasting change.
It’s just not how the brain works.

We have to choose to look at our behaviors and our thoughts as data. 

I invite you to take a look from the outside of your own brain and just say, isn’t this interesting. What can I learn? What patterns do I see?

What if all of my behaviors around food were not because something was wrong with me, or because I’m worthless or don’t deserve it, what if all my behaviors were really just because I have a human brain & this is how it’s wired to automatically deal with emotions.

SECRET: 2: WHEN IT’S HARD TO ACCESS COMPASSION, UNDERSTAND IT ISN’T PERSONAL


The brain is wired to look out for danger and this sounds like negativity in our minds.

The thing is, you don’t have to believe it.

When you hear negative thoughts in your mind as you think about working to be compassionate, just expect them & you can re-direct them.

It can sound like this: OK, Candy said I’m supposed to be compassionate, but my brain says, I’m a ________(insert the most common thing your brain calls you here) and it’s so hard, I can’t do it.

So, this is what you start to practice saying instead: I hear you, you are just looking to the past to see if I’ve done this before & I know you create fear when it seems new and or hard and that’s all OK, I’m choosing to say, this is interesting data. I’m choosing to say, I’m going to figure this out. I’m choosing to believe that I can understand my brain to make long-lasting change. I’m choosing to make it mean I just have a human brain.

SECRET 3: STOP SNACKING

I’m not going to beat around the bush with this one.  

Our culture & society has gotten into the habit of snacking. 

It’s one of the biggest things that is puts the weight on and keeps it on.

Eating often (especially sugar & flour) throws our hunger hormones out of whack. (See Dr. Jason Fung’s The Obesity Code).

It’s spiked insulin that causes all the weight to continue to be stored.

And when we eat & snack all day, the insulin never has a moment to go down. When insulin doesn’t go down, our bodies store the extra food energy as fat.

This is why snacking is NOT the answer. 

This is why going longer between meals to let our bodies actually use the energy it has stored on our bodies is the answer.
It’s how our brains and bodies are wired.

Nothing’s gone wrong.

When we stop snacking get a toolbox to manage our emotions and the change our neural conditioning around food, this is when the magic can start to happen and the pounds start to come off.

We need both. We need mind, emotion & neural conditioning tools & we need tools to understand what & how foods affect our bodies.

It’s so simple. 

It’s not supposed to be easy.

But it can be a lot easier than we think it can be.

It’s totally possible!!

Have a super weekend!!

Love & hugs, 

Candy


P.S. If you’d like to check out my new FREE GUIDE to Stop Emotional Overeating Today,

Click here below!


And if you’d like more help to really get this process started, schedule your free coaching consult with me today now.

2 Secrets to Stop Feeling like “Life is too much to handle” or “I’m failing” or I’ll never find love or acceptance”



I SEE YOU

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Dear friend,


I see you.  

I have been there.

I emotionally ate when life felt like it was “too much to handle” or when I felt like I failed or like I’d never find love or acceptance in whatever situation I was in.

When we emotionally eat, it’s just a surface act to avoid feeling the emotions of what’s happening in our lives & underneath the surface.

When you feel like life is too much to handle, it’s OK to feel that & you there are tools to process it through so you don’t get stuck there (and have it take you out of life and gain weight).

When you feel like you’ve failed as a friend, parent, sister, employee, partner, it’s OK to feel that & there are tools to process it through so you don’t get stuck in downward cycles of anxiety or guilt or shame (and have it take you out of life and gain weight).

When you feel despair like you’ll never find love and acceptance, (with a partner, with your children, with your nieces & nephews, with yourself, with your co-workers) it’s OK to feel that, and there are tools to to process the emotions through so you don’t get stuck there.

TOOL #1 WHEN YOUR BRAIN TELLS YOU LIFE/THIS SITUATION IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE, TAKE A STEP BACK AND ASK YOURSELF, IS THAT REALLY TRUE?

Our brains often want to tell us life, or this situation is “TOO MUCH TO HANDLE”, OR “YOU’RE FAILING” OR “YOU’LL NEVER BE LOVE OR ACCEPTED”.

All of our brains tell us flavors/versions of these things. It just means you’re human.

When your brain tells you one of these things, ask it, can you really know that’s true?

Your brain may retort quickly back, “duh, yeah”, it may not. Just let it say whatever it wants & question it each time. Ask your brain, is that really true? Ask your brain that question 4-5 times. Is that really true, can I  really know that life is too much to handle? 

My guess is that if you ask yourself that question 4-5 times, you’ll do enough processing of the emotion to realize, OK, life really isn’t too much to handle. You really are strong enough to handle it and you may need a nap or a walk in nature or to journal a bit, or to paint, or whatever that thing is that actually brings you some joy & peace. 


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TOOL #2 ASK YOURSELF WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER BE DOING WITH YOUR EMOTIONAL BRAIN ENERGY INSTEAD OF USING IT TO JUDGE OR DERIDE YOURSELF


It’s really important to realize that we are using up our emotional energy and literal brain calories when we tell ourselves life is too much, or we are failing or we will never be loved or accepted.

When my brain tells me one of these things, I like to say, I hear you & I choose not to use my brain and emotional energy to dwell on that. I don’t have time for that.

Then I like to purposefully choose what to , I like to go for a walk along the lake, or go to Zumba and sing (in Zumba yes) at the top of my lungs (the music is loud enough no one can hear). I also like to spend time with a friend, or talk to my hubby or check on a friend to see how they are doing. OR TAKE A NAP. It’s OK to take a nap and take care of you.  

Have I always been able to do this. NOPE. Because sometimes I needed to clean some emotions and hurt out from under it. And this is what has become possible because I have cleaned up so many emotions and continue to do it on a daily basis.

One of my clients was feeling like some parts of her life were too much and she was overeating. In our coaching together, she decided that she was not using her emotional power like she wanted to. She was worried about food and weight gain instead of using her emotional power to paint which is her passion. She was in her first art show last week and she’s lost weight and shifted her relationship with food.

One of my clients realized that her brain was telling her that her son was failing (and for so many parents, you make it mean you are failing) She realized she was using her emotional power to worry about her son in ways that were causing her deep pain. In our coaching together, she decided to use her emotional power to look for ways to love her son and she has had a huge emotional break-through with him. AND, she’s lowered her Type 2 blood sugar levels, and lost weight.

One of my clients realized she was telling herself that she wasn’t accepted (loved) by others and that they didn’t think she was competent. She realized she was telling herself needed their approval to feel OK with herself. She’s realizing that this is using a lot of emotional brain energy & she’d rather start using her brain and emotional energy to own how she totally is competent and can totally own that and essentially love and accept herself.

This whole process is holistic. 

It’s not just about will-powering ourselves to make good food choices and get to the gym.

It’s about looking at the places we spend our emotional/brain energy telling ourselves things that aren’t self-compassionate and from our pre-frontal cortex.

This is what is possible with coaching.

Sign up for your free coaching call with me TODAY and let’s do this. You can do this. I got you. 

GIVE YOURSELF THIS GIFT OF SELF-LOVE.

CLICK THE “SCHEDULE APPOINTMENT” BUTTON BELOW TO SCHEDULE YOUR FREE CALL WITH ME TODAY


I love you,

Candy

Hugs & loves to you.

CANDY WRIGHT BURGOYNE, M.A.
CERTIFIED LIFE-COACH, WEIGHT-LOSS COACH, RELATIONSHIP & HEALING COACH
FREE YOUR JOY! COACHING

P.S. If you are a former client, research partner, or current client, I have some new products available & would love to work with you. Click below to set a call time with me! I would also just love to connect!

I’M ON A MISSION TO HELP YOU LET YOUR MAGNIFICENCE SHINE LIKE NEVER BEFORE

Hi beautiful friends!

I talk a lot of about our emotional health when I post because it directly correlates to the things we choose to do with our emotions.

And because it is MY PASSION.

Many people seek to avoid our emotions with food.

Many people seek to avoid our emotions with work.

Many people seek to avoid our emotions with NetFlix, Facebook Instagram.

Many of us seek to avoid our emotions by shopping.

Anything to avoid feeling an emotion. 

All avoiding emotions does is mask our true selves. 

It hides and masks our inner beauty, love, and gifts in the metaphorical cave. 

It keeps us hiding behind hurts.

It keeps us hiding behind shame of eating all those brownies.

It keeps us telling ourselves that we can’t be better or change.

It keeps us telling ourselves that we can never lose the weight or it’s impossible.

It keeps us from loving ourselves and from having confidence in ourselves.

It keeps us from not trusting ourselves.

And this is not necessary. 

In fact, it’s just baloney that our survival brain  feed us (that part of our brain that IS ONLY CONCERNED ABOUT SURVIVAL).

And we don’t have to stay here. 

There is a way out. 

Things don’t have to hurt so much.

We can learn to process through feelings and not turn to food.

Emotional health is one of the biggest things that will help our whole world be a stronger, more loving place.

It is what opens up the possibility for love, compassion, healing and change.

And on a more personal scale, it’s what opens up the possibility for you to learn to love yourself, to love others, to love your body & to end the fight in your mind with food and lose weight for good.

I’m on a mission to help women 10 x, up-level, optimize and hit their emotional health out of the of the park so that we can bring all our gifts to the world in ways we have not done before.

I see how amazing & beautiful you are inside. 

I see your power.

I see your divinity.

When we have the emotional processing skills to manage our emotions, we can let these things out so much more easily.

And when you let those out, like my clients are letting them out, YOU RIPPLE BABY.

YOU CAUSE AMAZING LOVE-FILLED CHANGE FOR THIS WORLD. 

THIS IS WHO YOU ARE.

A RIPPLER, FOR AMAZING, LOVE-FILLED CHANGE IN WHATEVER PART OF THE WORLD YOU ARE IN.

Please come on this journey with me.


CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE YOUR FREE COACHING CALL WITH ME TO DISCUSS HOW WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER.


This is what I do.

If you struggle with processing emotions, meaning you have hurts, places you can’t forgive yourself or others, or struggles with expectations of yourself or others, I can help you. 

We can clean that up inside so more of the true you that has always been there can make the ripple you are meant to make in this amazing world.

If you don’t struggle with emotional eating, I got you too.

You don’t have to struggle with emotional eating to clean up hurts, forgive yourself or others or heal the expectations of yourself and others.

COME WITH ME AND LET’S RIPPLE THIS WORLD WITH LOVE, COMPASSION, STRENGTH, BEAUTY, PEACE AND FREEDOM.

I LOVE YOU.

HAVE AN AMAZING WEEK.

TO GET MORE HELP & SUPPORT IN BUILDING YOUR TOOLBOX OF SYSTEMS…
CLICK THE “SCHEDULE APPOINTMENT” BUTTON 
HERE TO REGISTER FOR YOUR FREE ONLINE COACHING GET TO KNOW YOU CONSULT! I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU!

Schedule Appointment 

If you are a former client, research partner, or current client, I have some new products available & would love to work with you. Click below to set a call time with me! I would also just love to connect!

WHEN OUR WEIGHT BECOMES PART OF OUR IDENTITY


This experience on this planet is fascinating.

The experience we have with our own brains is fascinating.

Part of this experience entails going through things that leave impressions big & small & that have us draw conclusions about how life works, how it’s supposed to work and about how we work and are “supposed to work”.

When we are on this weight-loss journey, which really is so much more than weight-loss, we often don’t realize that the reason some of us have extra weight on our bodies is because we are eating to avoid painful feelings AND we subconsciously keep the weight on as a protection or an armor.

The extra weight has become armor & a protection against hurt and a part of “who we think we are”. 

It has become a subconscious way for us to not put ourselves out in the world in ways that would “hurt us emotionally”.

OUR WEIGHT CAN BE LIKE ARMOR THAT 
CAN BE LIKE ROBBING OUR TRUE IDENTITY

It’s kind of like Identity theft. 

For some of us, when we non-consciously keep weight on as a protection from hurts, our true, most shiny, brilliant identity often is eclipsed. 

Not all people experience this, but many of us do rob our own identities non-consciously with the weight we protect ourselves with.

This doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.

For some people, we hide behind our weight, for some people they hide behind their drinking or their work or their exercise regimen. 

We all do this in some fashion. 
The amazing irony is that when we eat food that causes our body to not feel good (hurts our bodies) we often use it as a way to keep weight on so we don’t have to put ourselves out there (job, relationship, community etc).

But the challenge is that when it’s part of our identity, it will help keep us stuck there.

WAYS WEIGHT CAN BECOME PART OF OUR IDENTITY

Let me give a couple of examples.

I used to tell myself that when I had some extra weight on my body, I couldn’t get out there and confidently date. Because those few extra pounds meant I was un-loveable. I didn’t get out and date sometimes because I didn’t feel confident about my weight but I was really doing it to avoid getting hurt with another break-up.

Not everyone does this. This is what I did. I know many people who have done it too. 

It’s usually very non-conscious and not on purpose. It’s instinctual. Nothing’s gone wrong.

I know people who have extra weight and it has become such a part of who they are and they tell themselves it’s the reason they can’t succeed in different parts of their lives.

Neither of these examples is true.

We always have a choice of who we are and who we want to be.

We are love-able because we are human and because we choose to believe we are love-able-because we choose thoughts that we are love-able, not because of our weight.

We succeed at things in life because we choose to think that we are successful and that is part of who we strive to be.

When we make a our weight a reason for why something has happened or not happened or the reason we do something or don’t do something, we are often having thoughts that this is who I am, it’s part of my identity. 

And that can be tough. Really tough. And it can cause us a lot of inner pain. 

And it’s not true.

Your identity, as a human and who you are is 100% love-able no matter what.

YOUR WEIGHT IS NOT YOU, THE TRUE YOU.

Your weight is NOT you.

It just is.

Your identity as a human and who you are as an individual is 100% capable of change, growth, and amazing results.

When we see our weight as part of our identity, it impedes our ability to grow, change & create what we most want.

And on the opposite hand, when we see our identity as 100% love-able, capable, and limitless, that is what we can create.

One tool I love to heal this human instinct of our weight feeling like it’s part of our identity is asking ourselves: What am I afraid will happen when I lose the weight?  

This is a really juicy question that can open up a lot of things to observe compassionately.

What will it mean when I’m thin?

Why am I afraid of that?

You may not be afraid of it. You may be afraid of it.

ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS 

But I invite you to ask yourself those questions. Write about them. Download your thoughts about them. See what pops up. 

Love yourself through the observation.

You may just see it’s fear on the other side & you know what, you can handle fear. 

You can heal fear. It’s totally possible.

One more tool I love to share with my clients about fear is the “Welcome & Expect It Tool”.

In other words, whenever we are changing and growing, fear will always be a part of the process. 

So instead of being afraid of fear, Welcome & Expect It. 

I invite you to say to the fear, “Oh, hello, I was expecting you, welcome, of course you are going to be here. Nothing’s wrong.”

It can be magic just letting it be OK for the fear to be there.

It can create freedom for a whole new JOYFUL & FREE identity.

I love you!

Have a super week!!

Hugs & loves to you.

CANDY WRIGHT BURGOYNE, M.A.
CERTIFIED LIFE-COACH, WEIGHT-LOSS COACH, RELATIONSHIP & HEALING COACH
FREE YOUR JOY! COACHING

TO GET MORE HELP & SUPPORT IN BUILDING YOUR TOOLBOX OF SYSTEMS…
CLICK THE “SCHEDULE APPOINTMENT” BUTTON 
HERE TO REGISTER FOR YOUR FREE ONLINE COACHING GET TO KNOW YOU CONSULT! I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU!

Schedule Appointment 

If you are a former client, research partner, or current client, I have some new products available & would love to work with you. Click below to set a call time with me! I would also just love to connect!


DID YOU HAVE AN “EASTER SUNDAY EATING FAIL”? STOPPING OVER EATING IS NOT ABOUT PASSING OR FAILING IT’S ABOUT BUILDING A TOOL BOX OF SYSTEMS

So, I’m going to be transparent here.

This week I heard some of my clients say versions of:

“I didn’t do so great with my food yesterday on Easter Sunday.”  

Or

“I ate more than I planned.”

Now the transparency part.

We went to my dear friend’s mother’s home for Easter Sunday dinner last Sunday. 

A big AWESOME group of amazing Italian family members and all the food that goes along with that.

I didn’t know what to expect. 

I just knew it was going to be awesome.

And it was.

HAVE YOUR TOOLBOX OF SYSTEMS IN PLACE


I had my food tools & systems in place meaning, I had a plan that I was going to only eat until I was 80% full, I had not eaten anything until that meal, so I had plenty of space etc. I had planned to try a treat that was unique to my friend’s family (but I wasn’t sure what the treat would be until I showed up).

And when I got there, there was so much excitement, love & joy, I got a bit distracted. It was so fun to chat with them and see all their traditions, my survival brain wanted to try a bit more than my body really needed.

Not gonna lie, I had a few helpings of the special bread pudding and a “Resurrection Roll”. The end.

I just enjoyed it in the moment. 

I enjoyed the people.

I had fun conversations and felt lots of love and I ate more bread pudding than my body could handle happily.

I’m going to say it again. The END.

I didn’t make it mean anything about me.

I didn’t engage in any brain drama.

I observed and I moved on.

I know that studies show that when there are that many people around, the brain statistically will eat much more than planned. I didn’t use it as an excuse. I just observed and moved on.

Then, the next day, I waited until I was actually physically hungry to eat again, which wasn’t until 5:00pm. The end.

I expected my body to be up on the scale, which it was, to the tune of almost 2 pounds.

But I also knew that I would pull out my tool box: wait until I’m truly physically hungry again, not beat myself up, get right back on my eating plan and the weight came off 2 days later.

The end.

WHEN WE HAVE AN AMAZING EATING TOOL BOX OF SYSTEMS IN PLACE, WE DON’T LET THE DRAMA OF BEATING OURSELVES UP TAKE PLACE. THE END. 
INSTEAD…


We trust ourselves.

We have our own backs.

We may put a pound or two on, but we know and are committed to taking it right off. 

The end.

No drama.

Just self-love.

Just commitment.

Just: I have my back and I love me no matter what and I’m committed to taking care of me.

This is what’s possible.

I’m reading James Clear’s book: Atomic Habits right now and it is filled with GOLD.

I highly recommend this book.

Here is a quote that fits perfectly with today’s post:

“If you’re having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn’t you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don’t want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goal (weight-loss goal or any goal). You fall to the level of your systems.” (p.27)

This is SO GOOD!!

When we “set a goal” it usually involves “all or nothing” thinking. “I either win the game (weight-loss game) or I fail.” 

This is why we fail. Oh, the irony!

Because this is not how long-term, lasting, permanent change happens.

LASTING CHANGE HAPPENS WHEN WE HAVE A TOOL BOX OF SYSTEMS NOT A PASS OR FAIL MENTALITY


It happens when we give ourselves the time to create a tool box of systems, over time with love and compassion.

It happens when we take the time to do small changes each week.

It happens when we learn how to manage our thoughts & all the emotional instincts that come up.

It happens when we learn about all the physiological things that are happening with our bodies when we eat certain foods.

These things create long-lasting change.

 I highly recommend you come and jump on a call with me if you’d like to learn the amazing tool box of systems that will lead you to lasting cognitive and physiological change not only with weight-loss, but in every area of your life. 

Have a wonderful week!

I love you! 

CANDY WRIGHT BURGOYNE, M.A.
CERTIFIED LIFE-COACH, WEIGHT-LOSS COACH, RELATIONSHIP & HEALING COACH
FREE YOUR JOY! COACHING

TO GET MORE HELP & SUPPORT IN BUILDING YOUR TOOLBOX OF SYSTEMS…
CLICK THE “SCHEDULE APPOINTMENT” BUTTON 
HERE TO REGISTER FOR YOUR FREE ONLINE COACHING GET TO KNOW YOU CONSULT! I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU!

Schedule Appointment 

If you are a former client, research partner, or current client, I have some new products available & would love to work with you. Click below to set a call time with me! I would also just love to connect!