Hi beautiful friends,
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about you.
I’ve been thinking about the heavy feeling (often guilt & shame) you carry when your brains are beating you up for not figuring out how to lose weight.
I see you. I hear you. I feel you. I’ve been there.
And this is totally solve-able.
You can do this.
We start with compassion in looking at ourselves & where we are at. Compassion may sound like a fluffy word to some, but it is crucial.
We will NEVER create lasting change by beating ourselves up. We cannot beat or shame ourselves into lasting change.
It’s just not how the brain works.
We have to choose to look at our behaviors and our thoughts as data.
I invite you to take a look from the outside of your own brain and just say, isn’t this interesting. What can I learn? What patterns do I see?
What if all of my behaviors around food were not because something was wrong with me, or because I’m worthless or don’t deserve it, what if all my behaviors were really just because I have a human brain & this is how it’s wired to automatically deal with emotions.
The brain is wired to look out for danger and this sounds like negativity in our minds.
The thing is, you don’t have to believe it.
When you hear negative thoughts in your mind as you think about working to be compassionate, just expect them & you can re-direct them.
It can sound like this: OK, Candy said I’m supposed to be compassionate, but my brain says, I’m a ________(insert the most common thing your brain calls you here) and it’s so hard, I can’t do it.
So, this is what you start to practice saying instead: I hear you, you are just looking to the past to see if I’ve done this before & I know you create fear when it seems new and or hard and that’s all OK, I’m choosing to say, this is interesting data. I’m choosing to say, I’m going to figure this out. I’m choosing to believe that I can understand my brain to make long-lasting change. I’m choosing to make it mean I just have a human brain.
Our culture & society has gotten into the habit of snacking.
Eating often (especially sugar & flour) throws our hunger hormones out of whack. (See Dr. Jason Fung’s The Obesity Code).