I see you.
I have been there.
I emotionally ate when life felt like it was “too much to handle” or when I felt like I failed or like I’d never find love or acceptance in whatever situation I was in.
When we emotionally eat, it’s just a surface act to avoid feeling the emotions of what’s happening in our lives & underneath the surface.
When you feel like life is too much to handle, it’s OK to feel that & you there are tools to process it through so you don’t get stuck there (and have it take you out of life and gain weight).
When you feel like you’ve failed as a friend, parent, sister, employee, partner, it’s OK to feel that & there are tools to process it through so you don’t get stuck in downward cycles of anxiety or guilt or shame (and have it take you out of life and gain weight).
When you feel despair like you’ll never find love and acceptance, (with a partner, with your children, with your nieces & nephews, with yourself, with your co-workers) it’s OK to feel that, and there are tools to to process the emotions through so you don’t get stuck there.
Our brains often want to tell us life, or this situation is “TOO MUCH TO HANDLE”, OR “YOU’RE FAILING” OR “YOU’LL NEVER BE LOVE OR ACCEPTED”.
All of our brains tell us flavors/versions of these things. It just means you’re human.
When your brain tells you one of these things, ask it, can you really know that’s true?
Your brain may retort quickly back, “duh, yeah”, it may not. Just let it say whatever it wants & question it each time. Ask your brain, is that really true? Ask your brain that question 4-5 times. Is that really true, can I really know that life is too much to handle?
My guess is that if you ask yourself that question 4-5 times, you’ll do enough processing of the emotion to realize, OK, life really isn’t too much to handle. You really are strong enough to handle it and you may need a nap or a walk in nature or to journal a bit, or to paint, or whatever that thing is that actually brings you some joy & peace.
It’s really important to realize that we are using up our emotional energy and literal brain calories when we tell ourselves life is too much, or we are failing or we will never be loved or accepted.
When my brain tells me one of these things, I like to say, I hear you & I choose not to use my brain and emotional energy to dwell on that. I don’t have time for that.
Then I like to purposefully choose what to , I like to go for a walk along the lake, or go to Zumba and sing (in Zumba yes) at the top of my lungs (the music is loud enough no one can hear). I also like to spend time with a friend, or talk to my hubby or check on a friend to see how they are doing. OR TAKE A NAP. It’s OK to take a nap and take care of you.
Have I always been able to do this. NOPE. Because sometimes I needed to clean some emotions and hurt out from under it. And this is what has become possible because I have cleaned up so many emotions and continue to do it on a daily basis.
One of my clients was feeling like some parts of her life were too much and she was overeating. In our coaching together, she decided that she was not using her emotional power like she wanted to. She was worried about food and weight gain instead of using her emotional power to paint which is her passion. She was in her first art show last week and she’s lost weight and shifted her relationship with food.
One of my clients realized that her brain was telling her that her son was failing (and for so many parents, you make it mean you are failing) She realized she was using her emotional power to worry about her son in ways that were causing her deep pain. In our coaching together, she decided to use her emotional power to look for ways to love her son and she has had a huge emotional break-through with him. AND, she’s lowered her Type 2 blood sugar levels, and lost weight.
One of my clients realized she was telling herself that she wasn’t accepted (loved) by others and that they didn’t think she was competent. She realized she was telling herself needed their approval to feel OK with herself. She’s realizing that this is using a lot of emotional brain energy & she’d rather start using her brain and emotional energy to own how she totally is competent and can totally own that and essentially love and accept herself.
This whole process is holistic.
It’s not just about will-powering ourselves to make good food choices and get to the gym.
It’s about looking at the places we spend our emotional/brain energy telling ourselves things that aren’t self-compassionate and from our pre-frontal cortex.
This is what is possible with coaching.
Sign up for your free coaching call with me TODAY and let’s do this. You can do this. I got you.
GIVE YOURSELF THIS GIFT OF SELF-LOVE.
I love you,
CANDY WRIGHT BURGOYNE, M.A.
CERTIFIED LIFE-COACH, WEIGHT-LOSS COACH, RELATIONSHIP & HEALING COACH
FREE YOUR JOY! COACHING