Resistance is Futile: It will Impede Your Weight-Loss Journey Everytime

TODAY…I want to share with you how I learned to get married and how it directly correlates to the weight-loss process or ANYTHING you really want to change in life.

Yes, I learned to get married…it was alien territory for me.

When I was dating my husband, I actually had some extreme anxiety and much of the time we were dating, although I really cared about him, deep down I was scared to death because I didn’t know how to be in a lifetime marriage partnership. 

I didn’t know how to yet because I’d never done it.

My brain subconsciously thought it should have been easier.

My brain subconsciously thought there should be no struggle to learn to do this.

And even though I had studied relationships extensively from the tons of classes I took, the tons of books I read and my coaching prep,this instinctive resistance was there.

And the only reason was, is because I hadn’t done it before and been successful at it.

I had dated for YEARS, always wanted to be married, and NEVER figured out how.

When we haven’t been successful at something after trying and trying, the semi-conscious, subconscious and sometimes conscious “evidence” builds up for WHY IT WILL NEVER WORK. 

Sound familiar? 

Ever heard yourself say anything like that when it comes to weight-loss or anything else you really want to change?

And ironically, this “evidence”, which is hogwash, (although it feels so dang true) is what keeps us from being successful-in ANYTHING WE ARE TRYING TO CHANGE.

This same process happens in the brain with everything we’ve tried and NOT YET been successful at.

You know what my hubby always told me when I was feeling lots of anxiety as we were dating?

“RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.”

He was trying to be funny and quote Star Trek and the Borgs and he was trying to help me calm down my anxiety.

But he also said this because he had enough confidence and trust in himself to see that that it could totally work out great between us. 

He said it because he understood that my brain was creating resistance, stuck-ness and anxiety by thinking of the ways it couldn’t work.

The difference for him was that he chose to allow himself to see all the reasons it could totally work instead of focusing on any reason it might not.

I, reiterate, I TOTALLY resisted seeing all the reasons it could work or that I was capable of figuring out how it could work.

My resistance sounded like this in my head:

I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS COULD WORK

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

THIS IS HARD

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIGURE THIS OUT

HOW AM I EVER GOING TO JOIN MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE?

I’LL LOSE ALL MY FREEDOM

THE WHOLE THING, HIS LIFE, MY LIFE IS TOO COMPLICATED

And my hubby could see what my mind was doing to me, he could see me resisting and only looking at the negative reasons why it wouldn’t work. 

So when he said RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, he wasn’t trying to convince me to marry him from a creepy controlling space, he was trying to help me process my own thoughts. 

He truly has this gift of wisdom, emotional processing maturity and I SO needed that patience and example. 

God bless him truly.

I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS COULD WORK

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

THIS IS HARD

I CAN’T

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIGURE THIS OUT

HOW AM I EVER GOING TO JOIN MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE?

I’LL LOSE ALL MY FREEDOM

THE WHOLE THING, MY LIFE, THIS PROCESS IS TOO COMPLICATED

When we are stuck in resisting, other wise known as telling ourselves it’s too hard, we can’t do it, we aren’t capable etc…, we DON’T CHANGE, WE CAN’T CHANGE.

I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS COULD WORK

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

THIS IS HARD

I CAN’T

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIGURE THIS OUT

HOW AM I EVER GOING TO JOIN MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE?

I’LL LOSE ALL MY FREEDOM

THE WHOLE THING, MY LIFE, THIS PROCESS IS TOO COMPLICATED

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

TELLING MYSELF IT’S HARD, I CAN’T, I’M NOT CAPABLE ETC…IS FUTILE…

Instead I invite you to take a couple of slow, deep breaths and re-focus your mind to: 

I have to do something different if I want a different result.

I can figure out how to do something different this time.

I can choose to do what it takes no matter what to figure this out.

I can choose to believe I can do this.

Because, my friend, you can.

STOPPING RESISTANCE TRULY is freedom.

My hubby sent me this today after reading this post and I had to add it: 

I love you.

Have a wonderful week!

CANDY WRIGHT BURGOYNE, M.A.
Emotional Healing Expert
CERTIFIED LIFE-COACH, WEIGHT-LOSS COACH, RELATIONSHIP & HEALING COACH
Candy Wright Coaching @ CandyWright.com