Have you ever been to a restaurant with friends and found yourself overeating?
I know, it may seem almost like a rhetorical question, I may as well be asking, is the sky blue (or grey in Seattle where I am-although today is sunny! YAY!!). UM, yeah it is blue (or grey in Seattle) and UM, yeah, I have been at a restaurant with friends & overeaten.
Have you ever been at said restaurant and felt yourself “feeling out of control”. You keep eating & eating, you’re getting fuller to the point of pain & then you beat yourself up afterwards?
That may also seem like a rhetorical question…maybe not, either way is just fine.
There is a reason why this happens. You aren’t bad. There is nothing “wrong” with you.
When we are in a space with other people, it’s easier for the brain to be distracted & overeat. The more people are in your party, the more the percentage by which your overeating tends to go up too.
It’s a brain instinct–we get distracted, AND then we mindlessly eat and drink.
My clients ask me all the time for tools to stick to their goals at restaurants, gatherings, vacations that they are at with groups of people. Here you go.
Planning ahead puts your pre-frontal cortex in control of the event instead of our reactive survival part of our brain.
Look a the menu online. Check out to see if it’s a place you can find some great fuel food: proteins, veggies, & good fats.
If you can’t look online beforehand, choose proteins, veggies and good fats (most places have salad, chicken, an avocado & some olive oil & vinegar or lemon and oil).
If you do look online & there’s nothing that looks like good fuel food, ask to go to another restaurant if possible. Most people get nervous about “inconveniencing others” but what if it’s not about that…what if it is about you learning to request what you need & it can be a great exercise in self-care.
OR you can eat before you go, or order sparkling water or a small side salad.
Culture & society has made mindless eating & drinking of alcohol nearly a national sport. Choose sparkling water, club soda, or water with lemon or lime. Alcohol adds so many pounds. Especially wine which has become so popular now.
What if you could get through a meal without it? If your brain goes in to rebel mode & screams no way I could do that, just note that that’s your survival brain talking, not your pre-frontal cortex.
It thinks you might die because the alcohol has been giving your brain such an instant hit of intensified chemicals & can be a mild addiction. Nothing’s wrong with you.
Just question your brain when it thinks it can’t get through a meal without wine. I highly recommend Brooke Castillo’s work at stopoverdrinking.com. It’s not 12-step, it’s a gentle way to help you cut back and stop (if you want to).
AND…it’s not just alcohol, milkshakes, apple juice, orange juice may be seemingly “healthy” drink options, they add on the calories & spike insulin big time.
BEST RULE OF THUMB: DON’T DRINK YOUR CALORIES PERIOD.
Don’t make it about the food or drink. Plan ahead of time how and with whom you’d like to connect.
Make that the point of the evening, focus on that, focus on the questions you’d like to ask. (DALE CARNEGIE’S BOOK HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE HAS A GREAT SECTION ON GREAT CONNECTING QUESTIONS TO ASK: THEY ARE TIMELESS-FWIW.)
Go into the dinner thinking about what stories you’d like to share & why & see how many lives you can touch & make better instead of focusing on food.
TO LEARN MORE & GET MORE SUPPORT WITH EMOTIONAL EATING, COME JOIN ME IN MY PROGRAM:
FREE YOUR JOY! STOP EMOTIONAL OVER EATING
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CANDY WRIGHT BURGOYNE
CERTIFIED LIFE-COACH, WEIGHT-LOSS COACH, RELATIONSHIP & HEALING COACH
FREE YOUR JOY! COACHING
