EMOTIONAL OVEREATING IS A HUMAN
WAIT, WHAT, I’M HUMAN??? I’M NORMAL?
THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME???
YEP, THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’!!!!!!!!
Hi beautiful friends!!
Can we talk about being human?! AGAIN? 😊
Did you know the human brain is wired to look for “what’s wrong” or “what’s wrong with me” (this one is especially big for most women)?
Did you know you don’t have to believe the answers it tells you when it defaults to “what’s wrong, what’s wrong with me, this is wrong, this is wrong with me!!!”.
I was just teaching & coaching an incredible client & something she said really popped out at me.
She said, “I never thought that I could choose to NOT believe the thoughts about what was wrong with me. I never knew that my brain looks for what is wrong instinctively and that I didn’t have to believe it.”
I had been teaching her about how the brain is always doing one or a combo of these 4 things-and we’ve talked about them before—look at the new addition #4:
4-Look for the negative (The Brain’s Negativity Bias) It’s always looking for danger, or wrong with us or what’s wrong in a situation: it can look like judging ourselves, beating ourselves up, or shaming ourselves or concluding that everything’s gone to heck in a hand basket (when it really hasn’t).
I shared with her that this actually means NOTHING IS WRONG WITH HER BRAIN. IN FACT, IT MEANS SHE HAS A PERFECTLY, NORMAL FUNCTIONING BRAIN!!
This is a huge a-ha for many people. Our brains are always doing some form of and or combination of avoiding pain, seeking pleasure & doing whatever it can to delegate thoughts down to our more survival parts of our brain so that we can run on auto-pilot & be efficient.
It actually takes more brain/mental energy to think about everything we do & think so we do want our brains to delegate many thoughts down to the more survival parts of our brain on auto-pilot or we’d be in a constant state of analysis paralysis.
We don’t have to believe the negative thoughts in our brains. We don’t have to believe the old software thoughts that are running the show.
In fact, this is what I invite my clients to take a good, compassionate look at.
Have you ever had some of these thoughts that are really just running in the background to help you avoid pain, seek pleasure, be efficient or beat yourself up?
1. Diets never work. This isn’t going to work.
2. I’m a failure, I’ll never get better. I’ll never be able to change.
3. I can’t find the time to take care of myself.
4. I’m so tired, it’s way easier to grab something fast to eat on the way home.
5. I deserve this treat, I had a hard day.
6. I’m not worth it. I’m not worth taking care of myself. I’m not enough.
7. I’m not love-able. I don’t love myself, why would anyone else?
I INVITE YOU TO EXPECT YOUR BRAIN TO SAY THINGS LIKE THIS.
IF YOU EXPECT IT & KNOW IT’S JUST A NORMAL HUMAN BRAIN REACTION, IT CAN BE HELPFUL TO HELP YOU SEE: THERE REALLY IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
ALL THAT’S HAPPENING IS THAT YOU HAVE A NORMAL, FUNCTIONING HUMAN BRAIN WITH A NEGATIVITY BIAS…
THAT IS TRYING TO AVOID PAIN, SEEK PLEASURE, BE EFFICIENT, LOOK FOR THE NEGATIVE/WHAT’S WRONG…
ALL WITH THE INTENT TO JUST KEEP US ALIVE.
THE BEAUTY HERE IS WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND THIS, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN QUESTION ALL THESE THOUGHTS!
WHAT I MEAN BY THAT IS…
Ask yourself, are my negative thoughts true, can I possibly know they are 100% true??
Diets never work. This isn’t going to work.
–REALLY, CAN YOU KNOW THAT’S TRUE 100%. OR IS THE OLD THOUGHT SOFTWARE JUST RUNNING THE SHOW BECAUSE “THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST?” NOPE, YOU CAN’T SO QUESTION THAT WITH COMPASSION—HOW IS THIS THOUGHT JUST TRYING TO HELP ME AVOID PAIN OR SEEK PLEASURE OR BE EFFICIENT OR LOOK FOR WHAT’S WRONG/NEGATIVE?
I’m a failure, I’ll never get better at this. I’ll never be able to change.
–OK, THINK ABOUT THIS ONE, ARE YOU A FAILURE REALLY? HAVE YOU EVER HAD TIMES IN YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU WERE A SUCCESS? OF COURSE, YOU HAVE, CAN YOU KNOW THAT YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO CHANGE REALLY 100% KNOW? NOPE, YOU CAN’T SO QUESTION THAT WITH COMPASSION—HOW IS THIS THOUGHT JUST TRYING TO HELP ME AVOID PAIN OR SEEK PLEASURE OR BE EFFICIENT OR LOOK FOR WHAT’S WRONG/NEGATIVE?
I’m not worth it. I’m not worth taking care of myself.
–CAN YOU KNOW THIS IS TRUE? EVER? NOPE, YOU CAN’T SO QUESTION THAT WITH COMPASSION—HOW IS THIS THOUGHT JUST TRYING TO HELP ME AVOID PAIN OR SEEK PLEASURE OR BE EFFICIENT OR LOOK FOR WHAT’S WRONG/NEGATIVE?
YOU ARE HUMAN, ALL HUMAN BRAINS DO THESE THINGS. YOU ARE NORMAL. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
PLEASE GIVE YOURSELF SOME COMPASSION HERE!
I invite you to look for ways to compassionately observe that your brain is avoiding pain, seeking pleasure, trying to be efficient (by delegating older software thoughts down to the more survival part of your brain) or trying to look for the negative/what’s wrong.
When you notice your brain doing one of these things, I invite you to INSTEAD say:
FASCINATING. I WONDER WHY?
THIS IS WHAT I TEACH IN MY PROGRAM:
FREE YOUR JOY! CREATE FREEDOM FROM EMOTIONAL EATING
ARE YOU COMING??!
To GET STARTED: I do an free initial coaching session in which I coach you & we find out if we are a good fit for one another. No obligation, I will provide you with crazy, amazing value on just this first free call. No matter what.
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WARMTH, HUGS & LOVES TO YOU!
WARMTH, HUGS & LOVES TO YOU!
CANDY WRIGHT BURGOYNE, M.A.
CERTIFIED LIFE-COACH, WEIGHT-LOSS COACH, RELATIONSHIP & HEALING COACH
FREE YOUR JOY! COACHING